Why so serious? Because I didn’t like XM? I don’t know, maybe because there’s a friggin’ Joker Mouse threatening me with a knife? Any other questions? No I have never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. I have a question. Where do you get Joker cards small enough for a mouse?
Wait there for a sec. I just wanna get my toy Batmobile and my Batman and Robin figures. Then run you over. *Vroom Vroom. CRUNCH* Now ask me why I’m so serious! ASK ME!
Read more “Joker Mouse”
The trouble with a two headed calf is that you never know what they are trying to say. They say every MOO twice.
MOO-MOO.
What? What is it girl? You complimenting me on my outfit? Yes it is a nice moo-moo. Just something I wear around the house.
It’s a cute calf, but I’m not sure I like it. I think she’s two-faced.
Read more “Two Headed Calf”
Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.
This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
Read more “Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf”
Thanks for inviting me over for coffee. What’s this?
That’s my new Ouija Board Coffee Table. Let’s ask it a question.
Cool. I’ll start? Are there any spirits in the house?
*Grabs a bottle of Jim Beam and smashes it against his head.*
There’s your f**king spirits! What are you crazy? I hate ghosts.
Enjoy this tutorial on how to make a Sexy Burger King Halloween Black Whopper Poop Costume. Because, you know, it’s not enough that the burger turned your poop a neon green shade of nuclear waste. You might as well dress up as that glowing green streamer and go collect candy this Halloween.
I don’t know. I think they kinda skimped on this costume. I’d like both an option with nuts and one with corn. Just to be as authentic as possible. Maybe a mini-turd version for the kids.
Doc! Why is my poop green? Is it because of the Burger king Black Whopper?
No, it’s because I asked for that stool sample a month ago. One month ago you dropped the log, but you didn’t get it to the lumber yard until now. Now it’s all moldy. You disgust me.