Author: Artemis Winterford

Nightmare Before Christmas Furniture

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nightmare before christmas furnitureEtsy seller Raxfox sells a bunch of crazy cool furniture pieces that have crazy wavy lines and and fun colors. Go ahead and stare at some of the images in their shop and I swear they start to move and shimmy. It’s like decorating with LSD, but please, no licking the furniture. That’s usually frowned upon. The pieces that caught my eye were these Nightmare Before Christmas inspired pieces.

I should probably buy these. My furniture is a nightmare before, after and during Christmas. I guess that’s what happens when the ex wife comes over and does some hand detailing with an ax.

Nintendo Game Boy: Darth Vader, TMNT And Back To The Future Editions

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game boy toyEtsy seller Theworldisagameboy takes their user name seriously, turning Nintendo Game Boys into all kinds of cool toys. These are fully functional Game Boys that have been pumped up on steroids, like this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that looks like he will bite your head off and spit down your neck if you beat his Tetris high score. Come at me bro! I will totally crush your high score as you are beating at my knuckles with your little turtle fists. This guy is $263.57.

Click through to see more images, including a Darth Vader Game Boy and a Back To The Future Game Boy. Great Scott!
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Heart Lock and Key Ornament

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Heart Lock and Key OrnamentGive someone special your heart, without all the blood and a gaping chest wound. This Heart Lock and Key Ornament should do the trick. You get both the heart and a key. But it doesn’t open. Just like my cold heart. Huh? Sure, I’ve been hurt, but that’s not why my heart is closed off. Bacon. That’s why.

But that’s okay, because it is my one true love.
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Just In Time For Halloween: Zombie Chia Pets

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chia pet zombiesThese Zombie Chia pets are like regular Chia Pets, just more undead. You can choose from an arm reaching up out of the grave, Lifeless Lisa, or Creepy Holden. All will be green and undead. They are going to look great as a Halloween display. Lifeless Lisa looks just like my Grandma, who definitely needs some conditioner.

I swear, I could give her that one, put it in front of a framed piece of aluminum foil and she would think she was looking in the mirror. Silly oldsters! No, I don’t know why your hair is still green despite your shampooing it a hundred times. Just get in the car. Do you want your prescription or not? And remember, the mirrors in the outside world lie. Trust no one. Except for me. You’re still leaving me some property right?
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