You see that Elf on a Shelf doll? The one holding the knife? Well, it was recently sold to some poor idiot for a Best offer of somewhere under $39.99 on Ebay. The seller was selling it because as soon as she took the elf off the shelf and put it away, strange stuff started happening. Let this be a lesson to us all. KEEP THE ELF ON THE SHELF! Or else!
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Vintage Sake Pitcher With Image Of Family Guy’s Peter Griffin
Damn! This is just what I need for my Family Guy collection. It looks just like Peter Griffin. Only $300. Now if I can just find some matching dinnerware with Stewie and Brian. Shut up Meg!
Fashion For The Working Girl: These Leggings Come With Dirty Knees
I’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about fashion, but I’m sure that many “ladies of the night” or “working girls” will appreciate that these leggings come with the knees already dirty. It’s gonna happen anyway, might as well buy them pre-soiled and get down to business.
BJ knees are gonna be hot this year, I just know it.
Creepy/Cool: WWI Era Vampire Killing Kit
Kill Vampires dead with this reproduction WWI Vampire killing kit. Me? I just sharpen some stakes and rub garlic all over my pasty blogger body until I pass out from the stink. I always wake up alive, so I figure it must work pretty good. Although that doesn’t explain the boner and why my pants are always undone, but I digress.
If you want to kill Vampires all professional like, this kit is the way to go.
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Orange Orb Spider With Devil Face
Spiders are nasty enough as they are, but now there is apparently a new breed on the loose. One that has Satan’s face right on it’s dump trumpet. At least that’s what the seller of this $10 spider corpse thinks. I think it looks more like a wizard frog standing on it’s hind legs, playing with fireballs.
The seller says that it was found in Indiana, so it looks like we all have yet another reason to never live there. This thing should be burned with fire immediately before the power of Satan compels it to rise from it’s deadly death state. See more images below as you itch all over.
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