Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Garden Critter Solar Lights

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

garden critter solar lights
You know those garden gnomes you have? They need some backup in order to keep your garden safe. These new Garden Critter Solar Lights will round out your garden nicely and besides, it will look like a damn Pixar movie in front of your house all day long. At night too, because these gopher and raccoon sculptures wear glasses that light up at night.

I would say these are perfect to keep animated bad guys from your garden. I’m gonna use them to illuminate a path to my door because my night vision isn’t so good.

My doctor is all like “Do you drink at night?” and I’m all like “Every night. Hence the night vision problem. Duh! What did they teach you in med school?” Then he takes the finger out and snaps his latex glove off. He’s all like, “So your cholesterol levels look fine then. See me again in two days.”

Sweet! He’s the best Doctor on Craigslist by far.

Pink Floyd vs. “The Wall” Chess Set

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

pink floyd chess set
We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control. But DO WANT this awesome Pink Floyd Chess Set. It’s the band Pink Floyd vs. the characters from The Wall. AND has the Dark Side of the Moon prism album art right on the board.

This chess set is pretty awesome. Although you would have to say Trip-mate just before you win, because it’s so trippy.

Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb? This Etsy seller just did, cuz this thing is da bomb.

If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat? I have no idea, but here’s what we’ll do. I’ll just skip both and have some cheese nachos. Cool? Are we good with that? Excellent!
Read more “Pink Floyd vs. “The Wall” Chess Set”

Monsters in America Map

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

monsters in america map
America. It’s full of monsters. Some that the government created(Chupacabra) and others that UFOs dropped off(Bigfoot). It’s hard enough just trying to stay alive by not encountering them. We need to be armed with info about what’s out there and in which states you can find these scary foes. That’s where the Monsters in America Map comes in handy.

BTW I have no idea what a “Pope Lick Monster” is, but it resides in Kentucky, which is a long way from the Vatican. Why you wanna lick a Pope? They taste all old and vinegary.

Stuff Your Crust With This Pizza Bra

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

pizza bra
This Pizza Bra looks awesome. I know that some women like to stuff their bra, and that’s all good with this pepperoni infused over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Stuffed crust is the best in my book. I also love how it’s rocking the “one slice up, one slice down” thing, because that’s exactly how I put pizza on my plate.

Note to the seller. This should really be shipped in a pizza box. With free breadsticks.
Read more “Stuff Your Crust With This Pizza Bra”

F@#k The Time Watch

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

f@#ck the time watch
This F@#k The Time watch is the most appropriate watch ever. No matter what the actual time is. F@#k it!

It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Time to wake up. F@#k the time!

Let’s go, the wife says. It’s time to go to the Opera. You promised. F@#k The Time!

The boss says, It’s time to hand in that report. Oh yeah? F@#k The Time!

Hey, the timer just went off. Your mac and cheese is ready. Yeah? Well F@#k The- I’m on it!

Best watch ever.