Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Awesome Primitive Predator Costume

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predator costume
Damn son! That is one fine Predator costume. Since I don’t have $3,362.32 can I just borrow it for a week and run around my neighborhood making clicking noises and shaking bones at everyone. Nah. Forget it. Being a predator is too much work.

You gotta take care of those dreadlocks and if you go into a salon to get your dreads oiled and your Predator nails painted, humans are gonna freak. Plus cops would be all over you, just because you ripped some dude’s spine out of his back. Then there’s that Chris Hansen guy. Always trying to catch a Predator.

Hey, I’m a female Predator. Come over to my house. We’ll watch the Alien movies, I’ll show you my trophy collection and kills. Cool, I’ll be right over.

Then when you arrive you find out it was really an underage Xenomorph on the phone and you get busted just because you brought a pizza and condoms.
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Vintage Batman Water Gun

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

batman squirt gun
Holy inappropriateness Batman! This vintage Batman water gun is just plain wrong. It’s bad enough that Batman is bending over, but then you are expected to “pull his trigger” as if giving him a reach-around. That’s when the spray comes out of his mouth.

It was made in the 1960’s. At a time when none of us were perverts and would have never noticed the weirdness/creepiness of this water gun. To top it all off, you refill water directly into the plug on his Bat-butt. Oh well. I guess an enema never hurt anybody. It could be worse. There could be a Robin accessory that refills him.

Custom Built Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

zombie crusher
This may not be large enough for me to tool around in during the imminent zombie uprising, but my action figures are gonna love this Zombie Crusher With Automatic Machine Gun. I’ll be taking zombies out with some awesome head shots from above, while my GI Joes and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shoot at their ankles. Pew! Pew! Pew! You’re all clear kid! Let’s blow this thing and go home!

Now I have to find something for my My Little Pony figures to ride around in. That’s right, I said it! I’m a brony. Got a problem? That’s what I thought! Don’t make me go all Rainbow Dash on you! Meaning, I will run away super fast with my colorful jacket and go play with ponies.
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Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

t rex stick figure family
See that? That’s what I think about your stick figure family. I stomped all over your precious little backseat-barnacles, then snapped their bones with my teeth, their sweet stick figure blood dripping down my T-Rex chin. I let mommy and daddy live just so they could spread the word to other stick figure families. Then I roared a mighty roar of victory! Well, not victory exactly. Was trying to find a sweet dino-mate who has some extra swing in her tail.

Put this Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal on your ride and let all of those stick figure families know that they have been pwned.

Nessie Loch Ness Monster Ladle

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

lochness monster ladle
Now you can have a Nessie sighting with every meal. And you will even have proof. Who said Nessie wasn’t real? Just throw your current ladle out right now. This is the best ladle ever.

It has 4 little legs that stand it upright on your counter and it will look just like Nessie as it sits inside your soup. Make sure you take a pic every time and alert the tabloids!
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