Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp

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aliens lamp
Etsy seller Kreatworks creates all kinds of awesome and scary alien sculptures. Most of them cost way more than I have saved in my piggybank. I know, because I just busted the thing open and counted it all up before walking down the street and spending my life savings on a Kit Kat bar. Well, THAT was a tasty retirement! Back to work now!

Anyway, this Alien Xenomorph Queen Lamp is all kinds of scary and awesome. It will totally watch you all night long as you watch it back, until you are a nervous wreck and hiding under the blankets, cursing the fact that you soiled yourself.

Lesson learned. Some things are just too scary to have in your bedroom. The next morning you decide that it would look much better in your toddler’s room.
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Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella

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knightly sword
Whoa! This Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella shall be my Excalibur. One land. One King. With this sword I’ll have a castle, a wizard named Merlin to help me, a beautiful lady of the lake all naked and stuff, a round table, and me and my knights will have some sweet adventures in the countryside. I won’t even have to free Excalibur from a rock.

Nah. I’ll probably just use this Knightly Sword Hilted Umbrella to look super cool in or out of the rain. Keep it sheathed on my back as I do a cool-guy walk down the street. Not sure why those cops are following me. Is that guy radioing for backup? Tasers are out now. Not good. Merlin, I call on your power!
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UFO Table Lamps With Hot Rod Paint Jobs

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ufo lampThese UFO lamps are…wait for it…Out of this world! They look like little bumper car UFOs that a small person could get in and fly around the house, destroying all of your vases and figurines and stuff. I’m gonna put on my awesome alien jacket and go for a ride, like I’m in a pinball machine.

Three concussions later, I’ll wake up just before the wife gets home and call the cops, informing them about the break in. I have no idea what they wanted, but they really worked me over good. That should stop her from killing me.

Etsy seller SHINYARTY has all kinds of awesome UFO table lamps that I am sadly too big to fit inside, all painted up like awesome hot rods.
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Super Awesome Trading Cards

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super awesome trading cardsAwesome. No, super awesome! I love me some trading cards and these Super Awesome Trading Cards are the best. If I was still a kid, I would totally put some of these in my bicycle spokes so it would sound like a motorcycle and trade Abe Lincoln for a Narwhal.

These are just like the cards you collected as a kid, only cooler. And now, instead of leaving cards laying around the house for my mom to complain about and throw out, I can leave them lying around the house for my wife to complain about and throw out. This nerdy man-baby has come full circle!

You can collect all kinds of awesome cards like: Martians, Bigfoot,Abe Lincoln, wizards, zombies and more.
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The Mugga Mug Makes Your Coffee Look Like A Thief

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mugga mugThis Mugga Mug is all dressed up like a thief and it has already stolen my heart. I would take this mug everywhere as I wake up and run my morning errands. No way it would get me in trouble. No way.

First it’s off to the bank where I would set it down by the teller. She would take one look at the mug and hand me a stack of money, telling me to just take it and leave. Sweet! My bank is the best. Nice people! An alarm goes off as I leave, but I’ll just let the police deal with it. No need to be a hero today. Then it’s off to the convenience store where the same thing happens. I wonder why everyone is being so nice when I notice the fuzz pulling up outside and drawing weapons. That’s when I realize this mug is like a “give me all your money note”.

No problem. I’m cool in high stress situations. I pay for my stuff, wipe my fingerprints off the handle and point to the guy behind me in line and say “You get a free mug today!” He’s all like, “Awesome. I love free stuff.”

I leave the counter as if pushed and rush out the door looking scared for my life and announce, “He says the first hostage has been released, but he’s not going down without a fight.”
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