Cute And Crazy Cthulhu Plush Monster

Cute And Crazy Cthulhu Plush Monster
Meet the softer side of Cthulhu with this cute Cthulhu Plush Monster. Which is like 100 times better than a Cthulhu Lush Monster. That’s what they call me after too many drinks. This little guy is mean, green and can’t be unseen. I say little, I mean 22″ long. Which is how I wish that girl I picked up the other night had ended her sentence, but nope, she just said it was little and giggled. And left. No, I’m alright. Really I am. It’s not the size of your Cthulhu, but what you do with it right? I shouldn’t show girls my stuffed animals anyway.

So back to this massive and manly raging ancient one. It puts my little one to shame. Anyone would be happy to have a cuddly monster this huge. He’s pretty cute. If I had one like this, that girl would have stayed the night. They say size doesn’t matter when it comes to the monster you’re packing, but we all know it does. I guess some of us have the right monster and some of us don’t. *Sigh.*
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Krampus Christmas Card Box Set

Krampus Christmas Card Box Set
This Krampus Christmas Card Box Set might help you avoid getting kidnapped by Krampus and thrown in a sack. Then beaten and thrown in a river or something. Cuz that’s what he does to naughty kids at Christmas. Christmas was hard in the old days. Did you know that Krampus spelled backwards is Sup Mark?

Mind blown!

I just discovered his secret. Dude’s hiding as a regular guy named Mark. F U Mark. I know your secret. You ain’t gonna get me in the sack. Wait, what? I mean- Screw you Mark! Give me Christmas gifts and I won’t tell the world your secret. I guess I just did. Whatevs! I’m onto you Mark.

Squid Plush Body Pillows

Giant Squid Plush Body Pillows
It’s a squid party on the couch and everyone’s invited. Everyone with tentacles that is. You can have your very own squid squad, which sounds like an awesome underwater buddy cop show. I can’t wait to see the pilot. Well, hello Ms. Calamari, so glad you could make it. Squidworth my man, how are you? Give me five…multiple times. I’m just squid-ding around with ya. Don’t spit at me. Think before you ink my brotha! We all gonna Netflix and chill? Not like that my man. You crazy. We’re just gonna hang and have a good time.

When you have a bunch of squid, you’ve either got a party or a dinner. These Giant Squid Plush Body Pillows make it a party. Fill up your couch and snuggle with them all night long. Just don’t cuddle too long. Things get weird. Is it an adult activity at that point? I’m not judging. Just be aware that it’s a fine line between innocence and a weird, plush squid orgy.

Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg

Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg
Jumping Jurassic Jeepers! A Life Sized Velociraptor Hatching From An Egg. This thing is going to look awesome in my living room. I’m gonna put a little top hat on him. A life sized dinosaur is better than a tiny one, cuz you don’t want to step on it. Then what you’ve got is a Ve-splosh-ciraptor. It’s also a real Jurassic mess to clean up.

This guy or gal is freshly hatched from his egg, with some added egg birth goo stuff. Nice touch. Man, if we were the Flintstones, we’d be buying these by the dozen and frying up dinosaur eggs with Brontosaurus burgers. But it isn’t. All we eat are lousy chicken eggs. I want to eat an egg from something that can kill me. Oh yeah, salmonella. Never mind. This guy was just born and looks like he already wants to kill you.

Cthulhu Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper

Cthulhu Fiber Optic Christmas Tree Topper
Merry Cthulhu everyone! Celebrate Cthulhu-mas with this awesome Cthulhu fiber optic Christmas tree topper. Look at him waving from atop the tree. He’s ready to spread the Christmas fear. This is gonna look great on my tree. I’m thinking of replacing the tree branches with tentacles too. Maybe trim the whole thing with some seaweed.

This thing stands 13.5″ tall and changes colors.
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