Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection
You need to get your mad scientist lab in order. I’m not saying it isn’t up to code or anything. It’s just that you could use more cool stuff and you want your experiments to get super freaky and wild. Like this Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection. It’s got everything an up and coming insane person could want to re-animate stuff, create mutants, turn your poop rainbow colored etc.

You get a customized jar with a hand sculpted human heart, a jar with a hand sculpted human liver(Goes nice with a bottle of Chianti and some fava beans), an antique style medical battery, a jar of human cadaver eyeballs, a flask on a metal base for blood storage and an antique style medical pump that works. Hot damn. I’m gonna finally create life. And not cuz I got a girl pregnant. *Screams* It’s alive! It’s alive! *Squish* It was a cockroach. I killed it. All good now. Man, I hate those things. What do you have to do to get rid of them? Actually clean your house?
Read more “Dr. Frankenstein Antique Apothecary Jar Collection”

Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.

*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.

Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye.
Read more “Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals”

KaijuMon Pokemon Kaiju Art Prints

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

KaijuMon Pokemon Kaiju Art Prints
Pokemon + Kaiju = KaijuMon! That is an awesome monster hybrid right there. Check out these cool art prints from MikeGoesGeek featuring different KaijuMon. These Pokemon catch all of us! There’s Venusaur and Onix, Charizard and Chrmander, Blastoise and Aerodactyl and more. These monsters are here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and they are all out of bubblegum. PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THEM SOME GUM! Nevermind, there goes the candy store under Blastoise’s foot. Now he’s pissed he has gooey nasty candy stuck to his foot along with the head of the store clerk.

Oh well, it’s all over now. I TOLD YOU KIDS TO STOP HUNTING POKEMON. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? HOW FUN IS IT NOW? I’m off to loot toilet paper and cigs so I have some currency in this new world. What’s left of it.
Read more “KaijuMon Pokemon Kaiju Art Prints”

Plush Loch Ness Monster: I Saw It! I Saw It!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Plush Loch Ness Monster I Saw It! I Saw It!
Oh Nessie, you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Nessie. Hey Nessie. He’s plush. He’s supernatural. Even Leonard Nimoy was in search of him. I’m talking about Nessie. The Loch Ness Monster. Here he is in Plush Loch Ness Monster form. You’ve just had a sighting! Better report that shizz and share your blurry pic. Yeah, looks like a log with fins to me. You can take a pic of your crummy breakfast for instagram, but you can’t photograph a majestic and mythic beast huh? Whatevs.

Oh Nessie, what a pity you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Nessie, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s plush like you Nessie
Oh, what you do Nessie, do Nessie
Don’t break my heart, Nessie.

Fun Fact: Nessie has a wife named bessie and likes to swim with his daughter Jesse. Can we spot them? Lesee… Damn, I should be a children’s writer. That’s where my skill level is anyway. I so rock the market of the under-developed mind. Takes one to know one.
Read more “Plush Loch Ness Monster: I Saw It! I Saw It!”

Octopus Gamer Print

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Octopus Gamer Print
This Octopus has game! He’s kickin’ it old school playing Nintendo. This Octopus Gamer Print will help you to remember that Octopus are cool and also that they will kick your butt in a game of Super Mario Bros. That’s probably because they squirt ink in your face every time you get the high score. I hate it when they do that. That’s why Octopi are my gaming enemies.

Octopus,
Octopi,
You spit ink into the wrong effin eye.

I’ll beat you fair,
I’ll beat you square.
I’ll beat you in my underwear.

I challenge you to Mario Karts,
Let’s see if you can withstand my gamer farts.

For I have Cheetos,
And I have Mountain Dew.
Now the very air, it smells like poo.

You have passed out and I have the high score.
I celebrate and show you the door.

I bid you good day you tentacled freak,
Now back inside to sit in my reek.

I said Good Day sir!