This Ceramic Skull Plate is perfect for piling your plate high at some greasy all-you-can-eat joint, so that when you get to the bottom of the plate, this guy is looking back at you and covering his face all like, “Man, I can’t believe I ate all of that!”
You and me both buddy.
Your current makeup look? It’s dead. Time to eulogize it and bury it in this Coffin Makeup Brush Holder. Then apply some more and let it rise like a Phoenix and cover your face anew. Your old look was Tammy Faye Baker? Your new look can be Tammy Faye Undertaker. Your makeup is only as good as your makeup holder ladies. Behind every pretty face is a coffin.
Oh damn, that sounded like something a serial killer would say. Forget I said it. The point is, this is a cool makeup case. Cool, cuz coffins are buried deep. Yeah, that sounded weird again. Okay, stop looking at me like I’m a freak now. I didn’t mean it like that. You try talking about a coffin makeup holder and see how you sound.
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Attach this Worrywart Gargoyle Waterspout to your gutter pipe and this guy is gonna look like me on a Saturday night, except he is gonna be spewing water, whereas I am spewing spew. Cuz I party so hard. I party like a Gargoyle son! That means I sit around all day in one place and occasionally puke my guts out. All you can eat at the buffet (Their rules) mixed with all the liquor I can drink (My rules) makes for an interesting evening. Then it’s back to my sedentary lifestyle. So I can identify with this guy.
*Heaving over the toilet* Somebody hold my wings man.
This Skull and Books Planter will make your garden look all classy and Gothic. Is that an Aloe mohawk. Skulls look awesome with plant punk hair. If this guy had a guitar, he would totally rock your garden. The Garden Gnomes would open for him. He wouldbe playing guitar, flinging that plant hair all around. Kicking dirt everywhere…. And then that hallucinogen would wear off, cuz you trippin’ fool! Whoever heard of a skull hard rockin’ a garden? What’s wrong with you?
Cup o’ Fingers anyone? Anybody? No? Too gross? It’s all good, it’s just some creepy crochet that a creeper crafted up. I’m not much into finger food myself. I mean, I’ll eat it with my fingers, sure. Then wipe the grease all over my shirt. What? “Shirts ain’t nothin’ but giant napkins you wear!” Sage advice if I ever heard it. That little gem came from my 400 pound uncle. Probably not the best role model. He was so fat, he had trouble moving, basically had to sit still Buddha style and have food brought to him. Sometimes I would rub his tummy for luck as I passed by. That man wore the same napkin for 20 years… Until napkins stopped fitting him.