Just in time for Thanksgiving. It’s the Turkeyzilla Tote Bag With Drumstick Coin Purse. This ain’t no poultry handbag, but it will gobble up all of your essentials thanks to it’s large inner cavity. You get a bonus drumstick coin purse. Sweeeet!
You have to make it yourself from the pattern, which will probably still be a lot faster than cooking a Thanksgiving day turkey.
I can’t imagine anything scarier than a woman in need of a tampon who enters a public restroom only to encounter this terrifying tampon dispensing machine. This thing actually works. You can buy it for $75, fill it with tampons and hang it in a restroom somewhere, getting rich 25 cents at a time.
Until some angry and cramping PMS sufferer smashes it with a baseball bat anyway. Oh well. Was a good plan anyway.
*Angry woman busts through the door* WHO PUT THAT OFFENSIVE POS ON THE BATHROOM WALL?
*Me pointing to some random dude* It was him. He also said you look bloated. I said you have a soft glow about you. I’ll just get out of the way as you unleash your inner once-a-month-fury on him, while pretending you see your husband’s face.
Experience the horror of a spoon that does not allow you to eat soup. These Friday The 13th Jason mask spoons will be great for those on a diet since half of your food will be gone by the time it gets to your mouth. Etsy seller BlackDeath777 is selling these for $37.
Display them year round and use them every Friday The 13th. They are to die for.
Read more “No Soup For You: Friday The 13th Jason Hockey Mask Spoons”
At last I can safely transport my banana from the store to my house without it getting a single bruise. This banana holder will solve that problem. You know how it is. You’re riding your bike, when you suddenly hit a huge bump, making your banana hurt so bad you wanna scream. Sometimes the ride is so bumpy that your banana just bounces around until it’s all soft and mushy.
This here banana holster will help. It gently embraces your banana, probably radiating a gentle warmth that is so nice and cozy that it only wants to be pulled out when it feels your bike finally reach the climax of that last hill as you gently coast home.
This holder makes for one happy banana. And happy bananas are healthy bananas.
Read more “Bicycle Banana Holder”
Thanks for the Macaroni And Cheese Soap grandma. I see you’ve been grocery shopping on Etsy again. That explains the various craft items in the fridge. I also noticed that you parked in the above-ground pool again. You were right, that was a sudden rain storm that was over as soon as it began. I’ll just take your keys now.
Because of you I can’t eat my macaroni in the tub anymore. I keep putting the soap in my mouth and washing my junk with the cheesy Kraft stuff.