This guitar is gonna rock you like a hurricane and then not fix your house and make off with your insurance money. It’s wicked awesome. And since a skull and bones means poison, you can call your band Poison. Oh, that’e been taken? How about “Ladies and gentlemen…I present…If Swallowed, Induce Vomiting!” The crowd goes wild.
This $1,299.00 guitar is going to get you all of the ladies. All of the Goth ladies.
I don’t even know what to say about this condom wrapped Durex mummy. Yeah I do. It looks like a Trojan factory worker took someone hostage and just used what they had handy to tie him up. Let’s see what the seller says. The seller’s words are in italics. My responses are bold.
“Trappings I” is a piece that demands inquiry.
Yeah, like why the f did you do it? Also, any other hobbies we should know about? Last inquiry: Do your hands smell like lube?
It arrests the attention of anyone looking at it.
Yeah, my attention is all handcuffed and beat with a baton. Can’t even make out your badge number through my black eye. Still swear I smell lube. Is that thing gonna stink worse or less as it sits on the mantel?
Not only due to the stark contrast of the actual materials used, but once one begins to question why they were used, a real debate can open up. This piece speaks to social issues that are raging even now. The interpretation is of course up to the viewer, but there were real issues I wanted to bring up with this piece.
We already know why you used the materials you used. It’s better they don’t go to waste. At least they were used for something. The only debate is whether you have any left over for future projects. Depends what kind of a deal you got on an economy pack. As far as issues the artist wanted to bring to this piece, oh yeah, you brought ’em! This piece is full of issues.
Read more “Condom Porcelain Doll Sculpture: That Rascal Is Wrapped”
Etsy seller Fauncy wants to create a special board game just for you. Something weird and similar to this one seen here. I would totally rule at this board game. First, I would choose to use the Monopoly Thimble, cuz you know, that’s manly as s*it. Then I roll and move 4 spaces and totally roll a critical hit against that stone golem spider.
Even if I broke my wizard’s staff, it would be worth it, because I would search it’s dead body and take it’s fangs so I could make some sweet spider-daggers. That’s handy for later, when I turn against the other players and slash them. You been poisoned son! Spider teeth just made you drop like 200 gold. Deal wid it!
Then I would land on the spot that lets me drink that awesome potion. Wizard juice is on da loose! Tastes like gatorade, but don’t care. My health is at maximum even if my sobriety took a -8. That sweet nectar of arcane wizardry is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips. Literally. I’m now a pear shaped old woman under my wizard robes. Damn you vile Trickster Elixir of Old Maidenhood! Don’t matter. I’m about to fight a dinosaur son!
Rolling for my attack of melt-flesh. Damn that drink made me f***ed up! The dice falls out of my hand just as my staff fizzles and makes a fart noise! Damn you potion. Stupid T-Rex grabs me in it’s teeth and breaks me in half. Luckily, my top half crawls away as it is devouring my lower half.
I slash at my fellow players with my spider-dagger as they pass me and watch them die one by one. Ha! The game is mine. Blood loss. Sight failing. Mumble. *No one wins…*
Read more “Board Game Made of Weirdness”
These aliens have been abducting us and checking out our anatomy for decades. It’s about time we do the same to them. Teach your kids all about alien anatomy with this Transparent Alien Figure Model Kit. If you teach your kid how to take an alien apart organ by organ and piece by piece, he will be ready one day, should the alien threat ever come for him in the dead of night.
Nope. They never counted on the horror that was little Johnny with a switchblade, when they came to him in bed that night. Painted that UFO medical bay bright red. They are lucky they beamed him back before they all met their end. His parents were proud and now they are safe.
Read more “Alien Anatomy: Transparent Alien Figure Model Kit”
Get it off me! Get it off me! Oh, it’s just on the screen. Thank God. I thought I was going to have to jump on the chair and scream like a little girl again. It would suck to have that happen twice at the same coffee shop. However I’m pretty confident that I could walk away with dry pants this time. Holy mother of all spiders! This is a large 36″ x 48″ x 24″ badass spider made from 80% foam, 15% latex, and 5% metal.
What’s with that color and pattern on the butt-sack? Does that mean poisonous or is it just meant to give it’s prey a psych evaluation? I see a butterfly…..Well, I’m not sure what it is. It floats like a butterfly, but stings like a bee. I KNOW. It’s Muhammad Ali. AWESOME GUESS. TELL HIM WHAT HE WON BOB!
YOU WIN…GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE COFFEE SHOP FOR LOSING CONTROL OF YOUR BLADDER AFTER ALL. THAT AND LIVING IN HORROR EVERY TIME YOU SEE AN EIGHT-LEGGED CREATURE!