Build Your Own Human Skeleton Book

build your own skeletonMake your own bony life sized companion with this cool Build Your Own Human Skeleton Book. I’m gonna call mine Bones for obvious reasons.

This is an awesome cardboard/paper model. Perfect for Medical students who are lonely, because it is basically an instant friend. It comes with labels so you can identify the different bones too. I just ordered mine. Gonna make a trip to the grocery store, buy like 40 pounds of steak and slap some meat on those bones. Then, during the next lightning storm, I’m bringing this thing to life. Get your torches and pitchforks ready.
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Domain Name Gold: FUhotdogs.com

fuhotdogsNow is your chance to get in on this once in a lifetime opportunity and buy a domain name that really rocks. FUhotdogs.com. The possibilities are endless. I would review hot dogs from all over the country and the ones I don’t like would go onto that website, where I would say to them FU Hot Dogs. You suck. You were terrible. It had way too much relish and not enough factory filth.

Other than that you could probably just use it to rant and rave against hot dogs. FU Hot Dogs. FU. I hate how fat you have made me. They are delicious, even if they are basically a pig factory’s compost pile turned into logs. This domain will cost you $2,000. on ebay. Seriously, FU Hot Dogs!

Spine Candle Holders Are Chiro-Practical

Spine Candle HoldersChiropractors, lumbar lovers and other fans of the back will appreciate these spine candle holders. I’m looking at you Predator. They really set the mood and are a constant reminder to practice good posture.

They are also a reminder that we are nothing but bone under all of that skin and muscle. Well, in my case just skin. I have about enough muscle to roll a D20 ten inches or so with my stubby T-Rex arms. No lie, I was the weakest in my litter. Which is probably why I often play dead if the door bell rings. By now, they know to leave the pizza on the porch and take the envelope containing the money.

They can also be used as a vase, as seen below.
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Zombie Toes: This Little Piggy Craved Brains

zombie toesZombie toes are just as nasty as the rest of the Zombie. Apparently Zombie toes each have little faces and mouths. Who knew? I run from Zombies, I don’t take their shoes off and inspect their undead feet. Now that I know, I am sickened and fascinated at the same time.

This little piggy killed at market, this little piggy craved brains, and this little piggy staggered all the way home moaning….I’ve seen some nasty toes in my day, but these guys are the worst. Do we know if athlete’s foot kills them? I’m gonna put ’em all in a sock and beat a Zombie in the face with ’em.

Click through for more undead toe jam mixed with funk and bone fragments.
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The Brief Safe Will Bring Thieves To A (Skidding) Halt

brief safeThe Brief Safe. It keeps your money and cards safe. Because it is a pair of briefs that look nasty. They even have a faux-skid mark. They have special compartments to keep your stuff safe. Even if you have them off and tossed in a corner, no one is gonna want to touch your nasty business.

You can leave it in plain view in the laundry basket and thieves will just gasp, cover their nose and mouth and move on. Be safe with the Brief safe. Now how am I gonna tell them apart from my normal underwear?