Tag: bizarre

These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

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creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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The Booger Bin Lets You Pick And Save

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booger bin
Boogers. You can’t pick just one. And you can’t just flick them against the wall, because before you know it, you’ll have a snot sculpture there after a few months. You can only wipe so many on the cat too, before your wife thinks the cat has a deadly cold and takes it to the vet, where they charge you like $400 to determine that the snot is human. All they had to do was friggin’ ask.

Anyway, this booger bin will keep your nozzle nuggets all in one place. It’s a bin. For boogers. If you can fill one of these up, you have some serious health problems.
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Fried Chicken Drumstick Keyboard: Finger Clickin’ Good

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fried chicken keyboard
No wonder America leads humanity in muffin tops and back-boobs. Still, this keyboard with a drumstick on it is finger lickin’ and finger clickin’ good. You would be hard pressed to find any other kinds of keyboards in the head offices of KFC.

It’s a chicken strip. That you can type on. And you won’t even notice your greasy fingerprints and all of the chicken skin you dropped between the keys. Needs a miniature bucket of chicken mouse to accompany it though. Or just a greasy breast that leaves a trail of slime.
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UFO Alien Bolero Jacket

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alien ufo jacket
I’m gonna get me this UFO and Alien Head jacket so that the next time E.T. lands, I get to be ambassador for the entire human race. They won’t even question it. The jacket says that I am that guy! Once we have some negotiations and I get set up with my own small island, I will be the one to decide who gets probed and who doesn’t!

Everybody who picked on me in high school better look the f**k out! Those guys that made fun of me at the comic shop last week too. 1)That issue of My Little Pony IS canon and 2)It’s not just for girls and 3)You have missing time and are butt-sore.
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Knicker Sticker Disposable Adhesive Underwear: No More Whale Tail

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Knicker Stickers
These Knicker Stickers are disposable adhesive underwear. Basically we’re talking a big old butt band-aid that covers your crack like a sheet of bondo, making your backside look flat as a barbie doll. On the plus side, it eliminates whale tail, so you aren’t “free willy-ing it” in inappropriate situations.

Don’t you kind of have the urge to wear one and just poop in it? Then crumble it up in a ball and toss it into the nearest trash bin? No? I guess that’s just me. Would be convenient. Like a poop net. He squeezes. He shoots! Nothin’ but net baby! The proof is that my backboards aren’t all messy. That’s why I’m the first draft pick. I hope the Cleveland Steamers get me.
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