Tag: bizarre

Custom Eraserhead Baby Figure

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

eraserheadThis custom built Eraserhead baby reproduction from David Lynch’s movie “ERASERHEAD” looks like a turkey leg with eyes. This is #3 of only 10 that will be produced. It’s made from high quality platinum silicone and F3 foam to simulate the feel of real tissue. In other words he is soft and squishy and icky.

Pffft. If it was a real eraser head it would have erased itself by now. Also: That thing is butt-ugly. Like, you better drown that butt in proactive cuz you have terrible butt-acne ugly. It’s up to $430 so far.
Read more “Custom Eraserhead Baby Figure”

UPS Merman Christmas Ornament

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

ups merman ornamentWait what? That’s right. A UPS merman Christmas Ornament. I also asked myself why. I have no idea, You know how much weird stuff I see all day long? I could write a blog about it. Oh right. I do.

Hello? UPS? I’d like to make a complaint. I was standing on my porch waiting for the Fedex guy when the UPS guy, a merman by the way, swims up to me, all bobbing and waving in the air. Dude had his shirt unbuttoned and was fondling the hell out of my package. Said his name was Barry-L. He smelled like trout and aftershave. The neighborhood cats that followed the truck as it left that day ain’t been right since. All they do is make left turns now. Dude dripped a small pond on my porch too.

Bird Footed Vodka Shot Glasses

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bird feet shot glassesBartender! I’ll have a shot of Vodka, but only if you can serve it on top of a chicken foot with strange magical symbols on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the hell away from whoever made these shot glasses out of their feet. That’s why. Seems pretty obvious to me now.

Here are a set of 6 bird footed shot glasses. I wouldn’t recommend tracing those symbols with your finger. They seem all magical and dangerous. They come from Russia with love.

In mother Russia, you are not truly drunk until table filled with feet of bird!

10 Weird Christmas Ornaments That Will Give You A Nightmare Before Christmas

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

10 christmas nightmaresIt’s Christmas time again. Let’s have a look at what kinds of weird and bizarre stuff Etsy is brewing up for this holiday season. You can decide if they are ho ho ho or no no no. Do they deck the halls or wreck the halls? Do sleigh bells ring? Are you listening? Grab some hot cocoa and get a blanket to hide under. This stuff could give you nightmares
Read more “10 Weird Christmas Ornaments That Will Give You A Nightmare Before Christmas”

Inflatable Toast

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

inflatable toastInflatable Toast is the toast of the town. It is guaranteed to turn your frown upside down. That much is certain. But what the hell do you do with it? Hang it from your car rearview mirror? Present it to a mouse as a nice comfy air mattress?

I have no idea. I just really love toast enough to buy this. Toast is awesome. Buttery toast with jam. Yummy. Maybe I will use this as a toast rest. I have no idea, but I feel a rhyme coming on.

Inflatable Toast.
Blow it up with some air.

Put some butta on dat b**ch
like you don’t even care.

Spread it real good
till it’s nice and creamy.

I eat toast in the shower
all nice and steamy.

Bottom of ma toaster
all filled with crumbs.

All you haters of carbs
are f***ing dumb!