Tag: creature

The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener

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The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener
Let an Elder Thing keep your area smelling fresh and fragrant. I know, that sounded bad. I didn’t mean “your area”. I mean the room that you are in. Silly guttersnipes. This The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener is the way to go. It brings the horror and the fresh scents. That’s a combo you don’t see every day.

It is based on an Elder Thing, as described in the Necronomicon of Abdul Alhazred, as well as the famed correspondence to Miskatonic University from the Mountains of Madness. If it drives you insane at least your home will smell nice.
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Pink Mounted Werewolf Head

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Pink Mounted Werewolf Head
What can I tell ya. It was the 90s. There was a rave. A Werewolf attacked. So I took the pacifier out of my mouth, shoved my lightstick down it’s throat along with some X and this guy got less bloodthirsty. He’s all like, I wuv you man. I weally weally wuv you. I ever tell you that?” We partied all night then I took his head and decorated my house with this Pink Mounted Werewolf Head.

He’ll never raid a rave on a full moon again!
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Large Octopus Brooch

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Large Octopus Brooch
I’m not afraid to brooch the subject. This Large Octopus Brooch is the bee’s knees, Cthulhu’s tentacles, Medusa’s locks, Frankenstein’s bolts. Too scared to wear it? Don’t be an octo-puss! This guy has eight arms to hold ya with baby. Plus he’s all ink splattered, like a pen exploded in his face. I hate when that happens. He was probably just writing in his diary and SPLAT, day ruined. Don’t let your day be ruined by missing your chance at a cool accessory.

Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs

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Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs
MakingFacesPottery not only makes weird faces while making pottery, they also occasionally make fugly face mugs, like I did in grade school. Their’s are much better. These Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs have faces that only a mother can love. A mother hopped up on acid, who sticks her head in the oven after getting a good look at the kid! The shop has freaky creatures, zombies, fugly things that defy naming and other monstrosity mugs that will scare the black off your coffee and make the sugar jump from your tea.

*Random audience reaction.* That’s not politically correct! You should be nicer!

*Looks at dude’s avatar.* You should be on a mug. Burn! That’s why ya don’t mess with me. You ugly. You ugly. Yo mama says you ugly!

I don’t have an avatar!

Hmmm. Um. The burn is on me then. That was actually my reflection. U-G-L-Y, I’m the one with no alibi. You have won this round sir! But ugly never gives up, so I will be back and uglier than ever. Right now I have to see someone about marketing a mug in my image. Actually I think that second image really captures my twisted and freakish essence. Almost.
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Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure

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Glowing Baby Cthulhu Figure
Wahhhh wahhhhh! Baby Cthulhu‘s crying is driving me insane! I think he needs his diaper changed. I thought you were supposed to be an elder god, not an infant crybaby. Maybe you’re an elder tot. I have no idea. All I know is, I ain’t changing that diaper. Smells like you just took a radioactive dump. No wonder you glow in the dark.

I heard they picked you up from day care early the other day cuz you Chernobyl-ed the place with a flaming log. Ground zero is your britches man! Are your parents getting home soon? Cuz I have an appointment to go babysit baby Frankenstein at nine. His parents are going to the opera. Then I have to swing by a 1/4 Werewolf kids house and watch him while his parents go crazy on the full moon tonight. This whole monster babysitting gig is not nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Okay fine, I’ll remove the diaper and dip you in the toilet with a pair of tongs, and flush a couple of times, but I ain’t cleaning you. God, that’s foul! Cool your tentacles while I get my hazmat suit. Your folks are paying extra next time.