Need a cool hat that has style? Don’t get your panties in a bunch, but do get your tentacles in a bunch with the Octo-Hat. It will give you gorgeous long tentacle locks that you will want to curl and tease. The tentacles double a scarf. I wonder if the tentacles have suckers, cuz I don’t want no octo-hickeys on my neck. Am I the only one who finds the eyes on this thing super grumpy?
Don’t be an Octo-puss. Get an Octo-Hat.
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These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.
All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
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What the hell!? I said peek-a-boo! Not cut out your damn eyeballs and put ’em in your hands and look at me with your hands. You are one sick individual. I don’t think I want to play with you anymore. *Crosses arms over chest* I might even call my mom to come pick me up.
Hey, this explains why you always find me when we play hide and go seek. Sure, you covered your eyes. With your… hand-eyes. What the- You were looking at the bottom of the deck every time you dealt on poker night, weren’t you? No, put your hands down. it’s not cute. No. Bad…. Oh, I can’t stay mad at you my Pale Man friend. Got a secret of my own. *Displays hands palm out in front of my crotch, showing off my testes-palms.*
You think you got it bad. I gotta hold these things all day. It’s why I can’t ride a bike. Too painful holding onto the handlebars!
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I hate aliens. Always using our planet for their human experimentation. I don’t know what’s worse, that or the fact that their medical ships use the Earth as a place to chuck their alien fetuses. I’m not pro or anti alien abortion, I just think it’s nasty when our scientists dig up these Alien Fetus Fossils.
Bunch of intergalactic litter bugs!
Is that a dragon on your shoulder or are you just happy to see me? Maybe a little of both, since I’m always happy to see someone with a plate full of french fries. *Grabs a bunch. Feeds some to my Dragon Shoulder Companion and stuffs the rest in my mouth. Sits down across from my dragon-less friend.*
Yes you can take my order. I’ll have enough raw meat for two. *Waits. Meat arrives* Do your thing Drago! *Dragon shrieks and breaths fire, cooking our meat and burning my dragon-less friend to a crisp. Everyone runs for the door.*
So how have you been? You’re looking a bit ashen. Why so quiet? *Taps him on the shoulder. Burnt jaw falls to the table.* Time to get out of here Drago. Bad Drago. Our dead friend is not food. C’mon we gotta stay one step ahead of the law. And the fire department.
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