Tag: drinking

Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses

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Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses
These Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses from Nyghtwear are scary, spooky and all together kooky. Like me. You can choose from zombies, Edgar Allen Poe, Vampira, Frankenstein and more.

I’m bringing mine to my favorite bar and telling the bartender to fill it up! And by my “favorite bar” I mean the long row of wine boxes on my kitchen counter. By “bartendar” I mean my assorted cats who are always licking at the nipple/dispenser part like it’s a row of mom kitty titties. As usual, there will be none left for me. I’ll just go drink from my water dish. Again! *grumbles* Going to an actual bar.

Edgar Allen Poe me another drink bartender, I brought my own Franken-stein. No this doesn’t have a lid. He flipped it. Been gone for awhile now. He likes to drink deep and forget.

So fill it up high and raise a toast to the world’s greatest monsters. Speaking of which. The wife couldn’t be here. She sends her apologies, but promises to resume her nagging and grunting the minute I get back.
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Anatomy Drinking Glasses

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Toast to Anatomy and You 2
Raise a toast to your anatomy with these Anatomy Drinking Glasses. No bones about it. I need a drink. Do I pour it directly into my rib cage, my torso? Those bony feet? Screw it! Just tossed it all down my gullet the way nature intended. Right from the bottle. I hate having to make decisions.

So I may never ever use these glasses, but at least I can display and stack them any way I want and they will look cool. Skeletons are always cool.
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Flask Tie Is The Best Office Accessory Ever

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flask tie
No need to cure that drinking problem. Just hide it really well. Like, in your flask tie. That way you can drink all day long in the office.

Johnson, file these reports! Sure, no problem. Flips the boss off when his back is turned. Takes a drink.

Johnson, I need you to redo those numbers for the big meeting. Okie dokie sir-eokie. Grumbles. Takes drink.

Johnson, great job in the meeting. You seem really relaxed today. A real go-getter. Thanks bloss. I jus do wat ah can, you know. Glug glug glug.

Johnson, in my office. You are being promoted. Awesome newscast Mr. boss. Mr Applesauce. Let’s celebrate. Celebrate. Dance to the music. Takes a drink from the tie, offers it to the boss. Oh ship. I’m sill in da werk envirament ain’t I?

Johnson, go home.

Make Every Drink A Monster Drink With These Monster Glasses

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Make Every Drink A Monster Drink With These Monster Glasses
All the kids are slamming Monster drinks, so I figured I would too. Gonna order these awesome Monster Glasses and see if they give me energy too. Plus, I’ll never forget which glass is mine. I’m Chupacabra all the way baby! Sometimes I feel like a Kraken too so I’m covered. I’ll save the Loch Ness monster for friends since it’s a rare occasion that any show up and when they do, I have no proof.

Bigfoot? I’ll fill that up and leave it on the back porch for the neighborhood Sasquatch. That way he can stop drinking from the hose when we’re not looking.

Wingman Shot Glass: We’ll Have A Double!

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double shot glass
The Wingman Shot Glass let’s you and your wingman get drunk at the same time so that your wingman is as useless as you are. It’s also perfect for conjoined twins. The more you drink, the drunker you are, therefore the more you backwash. Now you can both enjoy the nasty saliva pudding at the bottom of your drink.

By 3 AM you will both be in the parking lot trying to figure out how this clear tire iron works. You were supposed to be my wingman! Now what are we gonna do? I give up. Let’s just fill it with booze again and see what happens. Stop drinking so fast, it’s all over my shirt! Stop being a wuss and hold up your end!