Tag: etsy

Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art
I’m gonna hang these Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art pieces at opposite ends of the room and watch them stare each other down. That way they won’t be tempted to come to life and eat me. They’ll be too busy sizing each other up and growling and stuff. That way I can go about my business and have some cool decor, without any worries. Phew! Not that they’re real tough with no arms, but they could bite if you get close enough.

Maybe I’ll give them some mannequin arms and make them hug each other, cuz I’m really all about being a monster peacemaker.
Read more “Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art”

Zombie in a Bottle

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Zombie in a Bottle
Zombie in a Bottle. Sounds like an awesome drink. I’ll buy a whole case. Actually, this is a real zombie figure in a bottle. Carry your zombie friend in your pocket, use him as a necklace, or just set him on your desk and admire his trapped and tormented zombie soul. I’m thinking I can pop the top, give it a rub and make a wish. I would wish for food. Then when nothing happens, I would go to bed, only to wake up later as this zombie is feasting on my flesh like the small flesh-eater it is.

What’s up with that?

You wished for food. nom nom nom.

Yeah, so?

Well, the food is you. nom nom nom.

Back in your glass prison you psycho little-
Read more “Zombie in a Bottle”

Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers
Sweet! I wish someone had made me some Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers like this when I was a kid. Since I am having a second childhood that began at 13 and is never-ending, I’m gonna get some for myself. Look at that friggin thing just bursting out of the cake! Bam! Shark’s here! Whatchu gonna do bout it? I’m gonna eat ya with a special 4-harpoon fork I designed myself, that’s what!

*Attaches harpoon fork to string. Loads it up in my air-gun. Pulls trigger. Harpoon impales that shark body DEEP!* Yeah son! That’s how it is!

*Reels him in and the shark falls off the cake, tumbling across the floor on it’s way to me. Picks it up and holds it to my mouth. Looks at the mountain of cat hair and dirt all over it.* Oh, hell no!

*Drops shark to the floor and cries like a two year old*
Read more “Shark Cake and Cupcake Toppers”

Coffin Lantern – Go To The Light!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Coffin Lantern - Go To The Light!
This Coffin Lantern must be what the Grim Reaper holds up when he comes to visit people. You see a lantern like this, you know you’re in trouble. This would look great in your horror themed home. Hey, if moths are attracted to light, do undead moths get attracted to a coffin light? I hope we don’t have a wave of zombie moths because of these things. I might put this outside of my house just to keep others away. Eh, I’m anti-social like that.
Read more “Coffin Lantern – Go To The Light!”

Glass Octopus – Don’t Crack My Kraken

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Glass Octopus - Don't Crack My Kraken
Treat this Glass Octopus with care. He’s delicate and fragile. He’s got feelings. So treat him gently. Don’t crack the Kraken. These crazy creepy works of art come in any color you like. That blue version looks real scary. Just one of the many reasons I don’t go in the ocean. Thing’s got eight arms for God’s sake! With suckers! That’s like 8 suckered snakes attacking you all at once.

Still, that’s a damn cool Octopus. That Octopus ain’t no wuss.