It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again… You will want to put the lotion on when it comes from this Creepy Aged Human Skull Soap Lotion Dispenser. Mr. soapy skull here is more than happy to pump out the lotion. I would suggest using a red liquid of some kind, so it looks like brains, but that’s just me. I got problems.
Tag: etsy
Gargoyle Engagement Ring
This Gargoyle Engagement Ring features two Gargoyles resting by the roof of a building. You know how you make a Gargoyle? Get engaged. Get cold feet. Then get on the roof and prepare to jump. And since you suck at that too, just sit there for eternity. That’s how you create a Gargoyle.
Yeah, but how do then turn to stone then? Explain that.
The wife shows up below and looks at him.
Huh?
They were about to marry Medusa.
Wow.
Yeah, she has been left at the alter soooooo many times. She’s pretty bitter about it.
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Gigantic Monster Turtleneck
Gigantic Monster Turtleneck. For when you absolutely, positively, have to look like a giant mitten. I would wear this thing all day. Gonna buy two so I can relax and Netflix and Chill with myself all week long, and occasionally change my shell like a hermit crab. I’ve already been accused of looking like a giant slug while I lay about in my undies. Might as well go full pupa and be the giant man-insect-larvae I was born to be.
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Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case
Looking for a case for your iPhone 6 Plus or iPhone 6s Plus? Well, you found it and it’s looking at you too. Your iPhone is now an eyePhone. The Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case is a real eye opener. They’ll watch you, you’ll watch them, before you know it you’ll have a crazy staring contest. The winner gets your soul. It won’t be you cuz it’s impossible to win a staring contest against that many eyes. You have to study for years and be a good pupil to win a contest like that.
Enjoy your many adventures with this case. Whatever you do, don’t answer the phone until you see the whites of their eyes.
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Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace
It’s always tentacle time when you wear this Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace around your neck. Is it ten-tacle past five yet? I have an important appointment. Funny behind the scenes fact: At first I typed “I have an impotent appointment.” But that isn’t true. I can assure you that everything is working fine here. I repeat I AM NOT seeing a wiener doctor because my Ballpark frank is stuck in cocktail weenie mode. Glad we could clear that up.
So anyway, this is a sweet ass pocket watch with an octopus. That you can wear around your neck. Pry open those tentacles and you get to see the time even. We live in an amazing time. I mean, hell, doctors these days can cure anything- No, I didn’t mean- Trust me, I’m all good down there. But if I wasn’t, it would only happen that one time. Perfectly normal!
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