Tag: etsy

Leather Dragon Eye Bracelets

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Leather Dragon Eye Bracelets
Check out these Leather Dragon Eye Bracelets from LeasBoutique. They have all kinds of cool bracelets. Soooooo hypnotizing. *Feels sleepy* Yes master. I will wear one on each wrist, then look into the eyes and become one with the dragon spirit. Then I will feel the wrath of the mighty dragon like a storm within me. *Shakes it off and comes to.*

A week later:

Okay, my dragon eye bracelets are here! *Attaches one to each wrist. Crosses wrists like Wonder Woman and locks my eyes with dragon eyes.* That’s strange. Nothing’s happening. What a rip. I mean they’re beautiful and all, but- Oh man. Sudden diarrhea belly. I’m feeling the wrath of the mighty dragon like a storm within me alright. I’ll be back later peeps.
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Gothic Horror Chess Set

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Gothic Horror Chess Set
Who knows how to play chess? Not me. I usually just bluff my way through a few rounds and then flip the table, knocking all the pieces down as I yell Checkmate. Then I walk away the clear winner cuz I didn’t waste two hours playing a nerd game. Even though I usually go home and play with action figures.

But if you have to play brainiac nerd games, this Gothic Horror Chess Set should do the trick. It features Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, and Zombies. Oh and two nerds on either side of the board. I’m sorry. I’m just jealous cuz my sister sank my battleship then beat me at Connect Four.

Where?

There, diagonally!

Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle

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Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle
Pull my finger. *sharts* Be right back. I have to go clean up. You shouldn’t have pulled it that hard. What are you nuts? This is why I need a Pull My Finger Fart Scented Candle. That way, I can get all of the smell of this joke, without all the mess of sharting myself like a volcano.

This fart scented candle is so realistic, once you light it, you’ll want to light another match! It says it burns for 40 hours, just like your butt would if you laid this much stink yourself. Mmmmmmm. Smells like home. *Passes out.*

Disco Zombie Skeleton Has Saturday Night Fever

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Disco Zombie Skeleton Saturday Night Dead
The Zombie plague has been unleashed. Zombies are back and they brought Disco with them! OH MY GAWD! WHICH DO WE KILL FIRST?

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead, stayin’ undead
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead.

This Disco Zombie Skeleton has all of the moves and he brought his own Disco ball. In fact, Saturday Night Fever is probably what killed him, but it was Disco that brought him back. I dig that jacket. This guy is getting all the ladies tonight.

Heh. More like Saturday Night Femur? Am I right? *High fives all of you one by one.*

Raven Chandelier

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Raven Chandelier
Nevermore. Nevermore. *Looks up at my Raven chandelier.* Shut up already, I’m trying to eat dinner. I’m raven-ous here. Geesh. Sorry, did I ruffle your feathers? *Sarcastic.* That’s soooo raven! What the- Nice. Poop all over me and my dinner. Great. I knew I should have stuck with traditional decor. Nice. Shake your tail feathers after. Did that feel good?

This cool and slightly creepy piece of raven lighting features birds with a 36″ wingspan. Will it be dark in the room? Nevermore. Will you want to eat under this thing? Nevermore.