Chill with your favorite horror movie killers. Because these Horror Character Fridge Magnets will always be chill. They’re on your fridge. You get Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Ghostface and Leatherface. They’ll give you a false scare every time you get a midnight snack. Which for me is several times between midnight and midnight of the next night.
If you’re scared of these guys, just put them on the fridge and consider yourself on a diet.
Hey, look. Incredible Hulk shorts. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. But that’s okay. I only really get angry when I see bad photoshops of the Hulk. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed right now.
*Eyes turn green. Doubled over in pain. Looks skyward as my insides burn. Muscles bulging.*
HULK SMASH! HULK TRY TO ORDER SHORTS ONLINE. ONLINE NO WORK WITH FIST IN IT! NOW HULK SAD! BECAUSE HULK’S JUNK SWINGING EVERYWHERE! HULK INDECENT!
*Sits down to dinner. Eyes the hot chick across from me. Immediately starts playing footsies and moving my eyebrows.* CHOMP! HOLY HELL! *Screams and puts my bloody stump on the table. Blood shooting everywhere.*
The hot chick smiles and puts both feet on the table, all decked out in their Shark Attack Spiked Wedges, looking proud of herself. She tells me I shouldn’t swim in shark infested waters, but I don’t hear her. I’m passed out from shock and loss of blood.
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I heard the same thing all the time when I was a kid. “You have a chip on your shoulder kid!” Yeah so? *Turns head and takes a giant bite out of it.* Now I have half a chip on my shoulder. And a bunch of crumbs.
This Chip On Your Shoulder Halloween Costume put a giant chip on your shoulder. Ruffled, because they’re the best. Possibly Lays. If I could lick it I would know for sure.
I would wear this thing to a Halloween party, sigh all night, then go to leave and bump into a girl with some dip on her shoulder. It would be magic. *Dreaming all dreamy-eyed with my chin in my hands.* I hope it’s poison ivy.
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I love cookies. I’m a real cookie monster and not just because I have blue fur and googly eyes. I just love ’em. So maybe I can get my wife to buy these Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween from AlgisCrafts. Even if the wife doesn’t bake any cookies, it will make a nice change of pace having all of my bruises in fun shapes like skulls, bats and spiders.
They have all kinds of rolling pins. Personally I think they look like they might really hurt. I’m not so hungry for cookies anymore.
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