This Newborn Baby Soap is pretty cool, but I already smell like a newborn baby.
You mean you smell like flowers and nature and candy and powder? Sugar and spice and everything nice?
No, I mean I smell like I’ve been sitting in my own filth for about 2 hours while my parents neglect me. Been crying about it at the top of my lungs too. What do you have to do to get some service around here?
This Skull Toothpick Holder has a name. That name is Moe Hawk. He has a spiky attitude and a zest for life. Probably because he has starred in like all of the Mad Max movies. Yeah, now you know him, right? Yeah, that guy. He was that guy on the cycle, that guy who took the arrow to the face, the guy who went flying through the air. He’s pretty prolific.
The more you pick your teeth, the balder this guy gets. Seems like a fair trade to me.
This Demon Skin Rug really ties the room together. And insures that no one ever enters that room again. Sure, it’s dead, but dead bees can still sting ya. I ain’t takin’ any chances. Look at the tongue on this thing. And the teeth.
Check out the images below to see this thing all laid out on a covered hot tub. That’s exactly where I would put it too if I wanted people to stay out. It’s as good as a sign that says, “this hot tub is protected by Satan and his minions.”
It’s expensive, but the seller says that it can be purchased on “LAY” away. They made a funny. Which I would find hilarious if I weren’t so scared.
Read more “Home Decor From Hell: Demon Skin Rug”
These personalized Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft look amazing. OrionOddities makes all kinds. I’mma fill mine with with green soda and call it Montain Cthulu-Dew! Maybe fill ’em with chocolate sludge and call it Goo-Hoo.
Awesome. Did you say they are personalized?
Yeah, they’re pretty cool.
*One week later.*
Here’s your birthday gift!
Oh sweet! The Lovecraft bottles I wanted!
Check it out. I had them personalize them.
*Checks them out.* They all say, “Enjoy your Monster drinks you fat f**k!” *sigh* I will. You are so thoughtful. And descriptive. *tear falls from eye.*
Read more “Monster Bottles Inspired By Lovecraft”
This Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box reminds me of that time I pranked Freddy, putting the glue on the coffin box and waiting for him to put his hand down. Good times. He was so mad, slashing everywhere and cursing. Just smacking stuff instead of slashing it. Dude invaded my dreams for a week, but he couldn’t stay mad at me.
Now Jason Voorhees. That dude can’t take a joke. You paint pink flowers and My Little Ponies on one hockey mask and he’s all like, I’m gonna chop your door down with a machete and hack you to bits. What a nut. Even now a month later, I can see him outside of my window just standing there looking creepy.
Read more “Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box”