Bookends That Attack

bookends
You can’t have books without having some bookends to keep them all organized. Unless you are me and you use canned vegetables, because you’re cheap. What else am I gonna do, eat ’em? Anyway, if I eat that can of corn, my entire Game of Thrones book series is going to fall. Not that I read it. TV made it so I don’t have to read it. Anyway, did you know those books are like 500 pages? And they don’t even have a single picture of a dragon inside?

Anyway these awesome bookends from KnobCreekMetalArts all feature various attacks, with your books caught in the middle. Everything from tentacles attacking pirate ships, to dinosaurs trying to eat people, to aliens abducting people. Who needs to read the books when the bookends are so exciting?

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Tiny Mermaid Skeleton Model Kit

mermaid bones
Mermaids are the sexiest thing in the sea. In or out of holographic bodysuits. And This trio must be the super model variety. They are all skin and bones. Which is probably why they don’t do a thing for my rusty barnacle. I would have totally thrown them my dingy when they were still buxom and wet though.

Etsy seller Tinysaurs makes all kinds of cool skeletal model kits. You can get cool dinosaurs like this T-Rex, this Plesiosaur and many more. Build them and display them and wonder at mother nature. Then be scared s**tless that we are all just a sack of bones.
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David Bowie Hanging Mobile: For Bowie Babies

david bowie mobile
It’s never too early to introduce your baby to the genius that is David Bowie. The best way to do so is with this David Bowie Hanging Mobile. You and your baby can be heroes. Just for one day.

If you bought the photo of David Bowie getting arrested, you could hang that up in the nursery too. Your kid will be listening to Ziggy Stardust in no time and will grow up to become a real Space Oddity.
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This Belt Buckle Will Take A Bullet For You

bullet belt buckle
Pew! Pew! Pew! You missed me! Thank God I have my bullet belt buckle to catch lead. This is the biggest, baddest, rootin’ tootin’est, Texas, Remember the Alamo, give me liberty or give me death belt buckle ever to hold a man’s drawers in place. Yee-Haw!

This piece of redneck royalty-wear is $99. Can I get a hundred dolla holla?

Holllllllla!

Sold! To the man with the ten gallon hat and the 40 gallon waistline.

Pocket Fetusoids: Poke-Fetus?

fetusoids
Pocket fetusoids! Fetuses for your pocket. If my geek speak is correct Pocket Fetusoids roughly translates to Poke-Fetus. And you know what that means. You gotta catch ’em all. Except I’m pretty sure that Poke-Fetuses are not caught with red/white Pokeballs, but captured with some sort of slimy womb-balls. He he. Womb balls. That’s hilarious. Womb balls are the next big thing. Just bounce them around until you find the prize inside. A gooey fetus! It will change the game of Basketball forever!

Back on track. All on my own too, without meds. So anyways, Pocket Fetusoids, some of which look like Jake the Dog. Note to self: Kickstart the National Fetusoid League and get some players onboard.
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