Clown Fantasy Outfit: The Joker Has A New Sidekick

clown fantasy outfit editCheck out this clown fantasy outfit. Here’s an interesting fantasy: Eat a f**king cracker. I kid. I kid. I’m thinking you can buy this $1,235.00 outfit and then team up with the Joker, because if there’s one thing the Batman doesn’t need, it’s another deranged clown at the Joker’s side. I mean, besides Harley Quinn. Look at her jumping out in front of the Caped Crusader, eyes all wide, feigning shock. Oh my. Did I startle you? He he. Are you stunned by my crazy freakishness? Good. He he. Now for a kick to your bat-groin.
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Looks Like A House Elf To Me: Mummified And Deformed Fetal Monkey

deformed fetal monkeyYou can find all kinds of dead stuff on Etsy. No, I mean aside from the souls of a countless desperate crafters. Real dead stuff. Not just killed hopes and dreams. Like this Mummified Deformed Fetal Monkey. Ha. Typed Fecal the first time. That’s a whole ‘nother animal. This one looks like Dobby the house Elf from the Harry Potter movies. Only sound asleep and thankfully not moving his gob at anybody. More images of this cute little Fetal, thankfully not Fecal, Deformed Monkey below.
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Hammer Nunchuks: Practice Is Deadly

hammer nunchuksI remember nunchuks. I spent hours alone in my room, practicing the art of hitting myself in the head, trying to look like Bruce Lee. Even now everything before nunchuks is a blank. And I drool a lot. These Hammer Nunchuks are even more deadly.
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Be Fashionably Fecal With The Turd Brooch

turd broochDid you poop today? Me either. I’ve been told I need more roughage than what is traditionally in a Hot Pocket sauteed in Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. But when I do poop next, I am totally going to match that poo with one of these awesome turd brooches and wear that Cleveland Steamer with pride.
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Antique Grandfather Clock With Actual Grandfather Inside

grandfather clockYou know how it is when you’re living with your grandfather. Old folks start forgetting everything you say the minute you say it. Every time they make toast the smoke detector goes off. Matlock is on the TV 24/7, only broken up by the occasional Golden Girls marathon. Then when you take them out of the house, it’s all, here let me get that sonny, and they pay with every penny they have ever collected, out of a coin purse that must be bigger on the inside like a TARDIS. Well, it might be time to get some nursing help, or put him in a home. Or you could just shove the old coffin dodger in a grandfather clock. That’s why they named it that, right? Must be. Seems legit.
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