Tag: fun

Creepy And Cool Garbage Pail Kids Art Prints

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Creepy And Cool Garbage Pail Kids Art
These Garbage Pail Kids Art Prints from cultclassicsaz are pretty cool. When I was a kid, I used to think Garbage Pail Kids were the dudes responsible for picking up the trash from the curb. Everytime I would see the trash guy I would be like, “Where’s your kids?” and the dude would ignore me. So I asked again and again and again, every trash day. “Where’s your kids mister?” “I want to see your kids!” “What did you do with your kids?”

Until the dude picked me up by my shirt and said, “You wanna know where my kids are? My kids live with their mother cuz I’m a loser and I drink too much. I’m 3 months behind on alimony and I’m a s**t human being. I regret my entire life. My kids are better off, that’s where they are. Tonight I’m gonna go home and drink until I pass out. Then I’m gonna do the same day over again and wonder where my kids are myself ya little puke. Now get out of here!”

Mommy! Mommy! I think I found daddy!
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Zombie Claus Holiday Statue

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Zombie Claus Holiday Statue
Zombie Claus is here to deck the halls with rotting flesh and candy brains instead of candy canes. The stocking will be hung from the chimney with terror this year. This jolly moldy elf wants to take a bite out of your flesh. But that’s only after you hear the pitter-patter of undead reindeer on your roof and a groaning and rasping coming down your chimney. Christmas is now the day of the dead. I hope you got a shotgun last year, cuz you need it this year.

Disco Zombie Skeleton Has Saturday Night Fever

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Disco Zombie Skeleton Saturday Night Dead
The Zombie plague has been unleashed. Zombies are back and they brought Disco with them! OH MY GAWD! WHICH DO WE KILL FIRST?

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead, stayin’ undead
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ undead.

This Disco Zombie Skeleton has all of the moves and he brought his own Disco ball. In fact, Saturday Night Fever is probably what killed him, but it was Disco that brought him back. I dig that jacket. This guy is getting all the ladies tonight.

Heh. More like Saturday Night Femur? Am I right? *High fives all of you one by one.*

Don’t Cuddle The Krampus

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Don’t Cuddle The Krampus
Parents use the myth of Krampus to make their kids behave around Christmas time, but what if this creature was cute and cuddly? Warpo aims to make Krampus a creature that kids can love with their “Don’t Cuddle The Krampus” Kickstarter.

Krampus comes with 3 naughty kids, which you can help him to hunt down and put in his bag. That’s what he did back in the old days. He put kids in bags, beat ’em up real good and tossed them in a lake or something. You are basically teaching kids to become this mythic creature themselves. Sure. Let’s make all of our kids evil while doing Krampus’ job for him. He probably started this kickstarter himself just so he could be lazy and get some time off. That kind of thinking is why he’s my hero.

Hellraiser Lamp

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Hellraiser Lamp
I am so ready to raise hell! That’s why I can’t wait for my awesome Hellraiser Lamp to arrive. It’s here! Plug that bad boy in. Here goes. All kinds of hell is about to be raised. Lock up your daughters, lock up your wives, lock up the back door and run for your life! Here goes! *Switches lamp on.* That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! Wooooooo! Raising all kinds of hell up in dis biatch! *Turns lamp off*

That was honestly the most excitement I’ve had in years. I’m off to have a smoke and enjoy the after-glow. Phew! Gotta be honest, it’s gonna be hard to get back to my boring old life after that.