Tag: fun

Deadbeat Voodoo Doll: Make A Deadbeat Pay

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Deadbeat Voodoo Doll Make A Deadbeat Pay
If you know a deadbeat, use the Deadbeat Voodoo Doll to make them pay up. This hairy chested deadbeat looks just like the deadbeat that you know, except he has the initials DB on his dirty underwear. Otherwise, it is just like the scumbag you know in real life. Use the included 3 pins to cause some pain and make him pay up. Beat that deadbeat at his own game. Maybe dip those pins in some ink and give him a tattoo. Maybe a nice little tramp-stamp.

*Ding Dong.* Who could that be?

*Opens door.* My deadbeat dad is standing there, with pinpricks all over his body. He hands me some money and is all like, “Please make it stop. I’m making my payments see. Please!”

*Closes door and goes back to the couch. Picks up voodoo doll.* Time to start working on the next payment. *Jab. Jab. Jab.*

Mini Roadkill Raccoon

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Mini Roadkill Raccoon
Mini Roadkill. It’s like life-sized roadkill, only less messy, with less stink and decomposing. This Mini Roadkill Raccoon will make a great accent piece for your desk, table, shelf, wherever you need a small animal with tire tracks across it’s flattened body. Do you think his name is Stanley? As in flat Stanley? Speaking of that dude, maybe you can mail this guy back and forth across the world, as a reminder to look when you drive. I’m just spit-balling ideas.

I have no idea what to do with a flattened Raccoon. Put it on your Christmas tree behind an elf on a cycle, so it looks like he’s leaving the scene of an accident. Or maybe it was no accident. Elves are demented like that.

Spill Your Guts With The Zombie Babe Corset

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Zombie Babe Corset
It takes guts to wear this Zombie Babe Corset. Hey girl, your insides is on your outside. Wanna talk about it? C’mon spill your guts. Oh… Sorry. That was insensitive of me. Where ya going? I can ex-spleen. Damnit! I didn’t mean that. Look, I was just ribbing you. It wasn’t my intestines to make you mad. I really do admire your intestinal fortitude. Oh c’mon. How can I look at this corset and not have this stuff on my mind? It looks pretty. Really it does.

What do you mean you can’t stomach me anymore? Hey! How come you get to say that stuff and I don’t?

Cthulhu Onesie Is Cthulhu Funsie

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Cthulhu Onesie Is Cthulhu Funsie
This Cthulhu Onesie is Cthulhu funsie. An ancient evil has awakened and you get to crawl inside. Cthulhu will keep you warm and toasty, but you will never be sane again. So I guess this onesie is perfect for me, since I’m already not sane. I’m not insane, cuz doesn’t that imply that I’m “In” sane, as in, in the sane? The English language. Now that’s insane. Insane in the membrane!

This fun onesie- I’m calling it a funsie or if a 500 dude gets in it, a ton-sie. This Cthulhu shell for nerd adults will insure that your friends leave you one by one, so that you are always wearing this around the house alone. Just the way it is.

Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace

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Octopus + Pug Dog = Octopug Necklace
This Octopug Necklace combines two weird things that frighten me, natures Octopus and Natures Pug Dog. Fun fact: Octopi are the only pie I’m scared of. I’ll eat anything else up in a second. The Octopug is nature’s latest mutant creation. It is absolutely Pugnacious! (Just proving I can too use big words, even if I am just guessing at the meaning cuz I heard it somewhere.)

*Wears my new necklace as I walk around town all cool-like* Sup? Pug life yo! Check out my bling bling. I am so awesomely cool now. Thank you dog-tentacled thing!