Tag: geek

3D Alien Chest Burster Poster

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alien 3d poster
In space no one can hear you scream. That’s true of the internet too, because you didn’t hear me scream like a girl a minute ago when I spotted a spider. Outside. On the other side of a closed window. Terrifying. But I’m better now.

This 3D Alien Chest Burster Poster really makes a statement. I’m gonna hang it in a hallway about so high, so that every time I pass it, I can shake it like a hand or high five it. He’ll be my little bloody buddy. What was that guy’s name who had this thing burst out of his chest? I have no idea, but his name should have been Ripley. RIPPPP. Here I am, all bloody with my neck sticking out of your chest. What’s up guys? Got any snacks?
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Satanic Rites of Gumby and Other Twisted Gumby Art Prints

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satanic gumby
I always knew Gumby was into some bad stuff. He is an evil little clay turd. Here’s the proof. Behold, as Gumby is exposed for what he is. Here he is doing some weird Satanic ritual stuff. I’m not surprised that Pokey isn’t involved. God only knows what sick stuff he did to that little pony. I think they aim to summon clay Satan himself. You know, Clayton. The dark lord of clay.

This print is the work of Etsy seller ActFigPhotog. Click through for Gumby in the Manchurian Candidate and World War Z too.
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They Live Latex Mask: Formaldehyde-Face!

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they live latex mask
Obey, Conform, Consume, Sleep. “The man” is always telling us what to do and subtly mind-controlling us. “The man” aka these aliens from They Live.

You, reading this. You’re okay. This one: real f**n’ ugly. Well, I’m here to expose these formaldehyde-faces. I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. Because I care about my teeth is what I’m saying.

Aw, screw it. I’m too lazy to fight the secret powers that be. All I know is this guy looks like his head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957, but if you want to become one of our elite secret masters, you can buy this nicely detailed mask for $54.(Or 54 “Your God” notes) on Etsy.

Canned Dragon Meat

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canned dragon meat
You preppers can stock up on your canned corn and beans and whatnot, but while you are eating your meager vittles by the fire and contemplating why the world went to hell, I will be dining like a king. A king who hath slain a dragon! Canned dragon meat. I’m pretty sure it’s free range, so it’s all good. No dragons were mistreated in captivity. Well, up until the end anyway.

This reminds me of that movie, How To Drain Your Dragon. That was pretty sweet, even if it wasn’t the informative documentary I was expecting. Anyway nothing’s as sweet as dragon meat, cause when they’re in a can, they ain’t burning your seat.

It’s delicious, but shhhh. Don’t tell Daenerys Targaryen.
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Super Awesome Trading Cards

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super awesome trading cardsAwesome. No, super awesome! I love me some trading cards and these Super Awesome Trading Cards are the best. If I was still a kid, I would totally put some of these in my bicycle spokes so it would sound like a motorcycle and trade Abe Lincoln for a Narwhal.

These are just like the cards you collected as a kid, only cooler. And now, instead of leaving cards laying around the house for my mom to complain about and throw out, I can leave them lying around the house for my wife to complain about and throw out. This nerdy man-baby has come full circle!

You can collect all kinds of awesome cards like: Martians, Bigfoot,Abe Lincoln, wizards, zombies and more.
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