Tag: geek

Aromas Assemble!: The Avengers Cologne Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

avengers cologneThis Avengers Cologne set is awesome. And trust me, I need to upgrade my smell. As it is now, people have labeled my particular scent as: Rank, ripe, a trash truck on fire on a humid day, a Grateful Dead concert in it’s fifth hour and my personal favorite; a weaponized form on man-thrax. Hey, I forget to put on deodorant. Sooorrry!

Well, now I’m gonna smell great.

Captain America – Patriot
Smells like some World War II dude who slept for like 70 years. Musty and dusty, but his butt-kicking skills are not rusty.

Iron Man – Mark IV
Smells like stale sweat trapped in a jet-powered suit and since your pee-technology just gave out, there’s a wee trickle of urine with a splash of citrus.

Hulk – Be Angry
This is a grunting savage scent. It smells large, foul and angry. Think an hour after Taco Bell smell.

Thor – Worthy
Smells manly, earthy like a forged fire. But when it wears off your BO hits people like a hammer.

Nah. I’m just kidding. People say they smell good. Of course anything beats raw nerd smell, which is a cross between stale comic book paper and mom’s basement. Now where did my new Hulk issues get to?

Space Invaders Future Fossils

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Space Invaders Future FossilsCheck out these Space Invaders Fossils from Etsy seller ThrowingChicken. I do not condone the tossing of fowl, but you know what this means right? We won! We finally killed those 8-bit suckers! Pew pew pew! Get the UFO for extra points!

Basically they all got shot down and fell into a video game graveyard during the “war of a hundred-thousand quarters” back in the 80s. Then in 2164 someone used a virtual device to go inside of these vintage game machines and dig up all of these fossils and send them back in time so they could sell them on Etsy and make a butt-load of money. Good thinking!

They aren’t so tough without their brightly colored skin stretched over their skulls. I’m getting one cause these guys owe me like 500 quarters. If I can’t have my childhood money back, I can at least have a rock solid corpse.
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Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit

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pet zombie garden kitI always wanted to grow my own zombie. Now I can thanks to this Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit. I can’t wait to grow him real big and cut off his head! Why else ya gonna grow a zombie? It’s all about practice for the zombie apocalypse.

Growing a zombie has gotta work out better than that time I bought that Batman figure that was supposed to grow six times it’s size. I took it out of the package and waited. Nothing. DID NOT grow. Just stood there being a weenie sized Batman. So I got pissed off and flushed it down the toilet.

Big mistake. Two hours later I hear this gurgling and groaning sound like two epic foes are fighting deep inside the pipes. Next thing you know the toilet explodes and Batman bursts out, all intertwined with Clayface as they battle.

Long story short, that was poo, not Clayface. And I really should read instructions. *Facepalm* He grows in Water! That’s how I acquired my limited edition poo armored Batman figure with authentic Gotham sewer scent.
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Finn And Jake Adventure Time Travel Neck Pillows

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adventure time travel pillowsWant to look like animated characters are strangling you while you relax your neck and rest your head? These Adventure Time neck pillows will do the trick. It comes in Finn and Jake versions. Etsy seller ComfortbyFeliciaRose has all kinds of cool neck pillows for your travel enjoyment.

I would just wear them out on the town like how those snooty old ladies wear their fur. I am so gonna be rocking this style. They also protect your neck from Vampires like Marceline, so it’s all good. I would let her bite me, but I’m saving myself for Lumpy Space Princess.
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Nintendo Game Boy: Darth Vader, TMNT And Back To The Future Editions

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game boy toyEtsy seller Theworldisagameboy takes their user name seriously, turning Nintendo Game Boys into all kinds of cool toys. These are fully functional Game Boys that have been pumped up on steroids, like this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that looks like he will bite your head off and spit down your neck if you beat his Tetris high score. Come at me bro! I will totally crush your high score as you are beating at my knuckles with your little turtle fists. This guy is $263.57.

Click through to see more images, including a Darth Vader Game Boy and a Back To The Future Game Boy. Great Scott!
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