Elvis’ Internal Organs Have Left The Building

Elvis Aloha My InsidesI thought there were only two versions of Elvis. Fat Elvis and Thin Elvis. Here is a third. This painting shows Elvis with his insides showing. Hey, I think I see some half digested peanut butter and banana sandwiches. And a butt-load of pills. No wonder he sang Love Me Tender. He didn’t want people jabbing him in his internal organs while he made sweet love. Be gentle with Elvis baby. You dig?

Thanks for the tip William. Your a hunk a hunk of burning love. And you should really get that checked by a doctor.

Collecting Dust: $1,500 Worth

jar of dustJust when we thought we’ve seen it all, we find that someone came up with the bizarre idea to collect a jar of disgusting filth and put it up on Ebay. Basically they just vacuumed their home and emptied the canister into a jar. They have probably been proudly displaying it on their shelf, next to a jar of old scabs and one with toenail clippings.
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Kuato Total Recall Mutant Cosplay

Kuato Total Recall CosplayKuato. He’s like Chucky, but more grotesque and baby-like. Now you can have Kuato on your very own stomach for $149.99. This thing is giving me ulcers and stomach pains just looking at it. I feel like I have my own Kuato bursting out of my gut. You know what? That was just my noon burrito. Ever since lunch I’ve been the star of my own movie called bloatal recall. Oh the pain! Make sure you click through for a super special treat.
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Zombie Gnomes Feast On Pink Flamingos

Lawn Gnome ZombiesCry havoc and let slip the gnomes of war! These little pointy-hatted bastards are ferocious. Like happy little waddling Piranha. Everything is calm and tranquil in the yard. The sun is caressing your petunias. The sprinklers lazily water the lawn and recede. A bird twitters and drinks from a fountain. The morning dew still glistens on the brows and beards of decorative gnomes in your garden. Suburbia is tranquil today… Until you set out a pink flamingo on your lawn and walk back into your humble abode.
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Infector Gadget May Be The Creepiest And Coolest Action Figure Ever

infector gadgetDo do do do do Infector Gadget do do do do do doo doo! This nasty little zombie freak will be the hottest(and nastiest creepy) action figure this year. Only $50. He is 8 inches of pure WTF awesomeness. Coincidentally that’s what I usually say to the ladies, but that always ends in laughter, followed by a debate about whether you can include the taint in the measurement. After that it’s just tears and a bucket of ice cream for me.
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