GAHHHHHH! Kill it! It’s all hairy and looks like a lumberjack, but smells like a girl! This Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin nearly gave me a heart attack! He/she looks just as surprised as I was! I was just checking out Amazon and things got all hairy!
Hey, how does this thing give you the time? It checks it’s sasqwatch.
But no. I can’t look at it anymore. This is me slowly backing away. Then running like an olympian.
Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver like it’s the 70s. Well, maybe not THAT hairy. People were crazy back then. This cool pet for your desk will have everyone wanting to look at and pet your beaver. “That’s filthy!” says some woman in Montana as she thumps her bible. But I guarantee you one thing. She wants to touch it. It’s just gardening after all.
Just put your beaver into the watering bowl and cover it with grass seeds. Then watch as your beaver gets nice and bushy. Trim your beaver. Give it a mohawk, whatever you want.
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Hey there Little Red Riding Hood. You’re everything a big bad wolf could want. Why don’t you hop on my motorcycle and I’ll take ya to grandma’s house. You know this wolf helmet is awesome because it comes from Wolfhelmet.com. They aren’t messing around. They are all wolf helmet. All of the time.
Now when you do those sweet-ass stunts like jumping over fiery barrels, you can look awesome as your leg snaps in half. You may even be tempted to grab that hunk of meat by the bone and start gnawing on yourself. Cuz you know, Wolf helmet will transform you.
That’s how you know that you are a bad ass biker dude. You wipe out, you wolf down some dinner. That’s why you don’t see packs of werewolves on bikes. You wipe out, they feed, until there is only one.
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Why go through the trouble of shopping for an actual Christmas sweater when you can buy this one? Besides, who wants a festive Christmas sweater full of reindeer and trees and Santas, when you can have one that makes you look like a fat hairy guy who just woke up from a weekend bender and has to get to their Santa job at the mall? It even has a bit of mistletoe above the belt buckle area.
Read more “Men’s Hairy Belly Ugly Christmas Sweater T-Shirt”
Check out this framed man-beast crotch, packing more hair than a grizzly. Etsy seller BeefcakeCraftArcade made this. Everyone needs a hobby I guess.
This man-beast has nothing on me, with that little cheeto bulge barely hanging over the frame. My Hanes would be exploding past that frame. Well, yeah, that’s mostly because of my belly, but trust me, my cheeto bag is full too!
The seller has a special note:
“The fur is soft and you’re gonna want to rub your face all over it. That’s fine and encouraged – pet it all you want! But please do not brush or shave the fur.”
Um, okay. Absolutely no danger of any of that happening from me. Just so we are clear.