Damn. My Spine And Skull Lamp isn’t working. I think I slipped a disc. Better call the chiropractor to come over and repair this thing. Funny story: I slipped a disc once, because I slipped on a disc. One of those old AOL discs that the postman filled my house with in the 90’s. Here’s a good one. Ready? How do Chiropractors do their hair? In-verte-braids! They like to play jump rope and play with dolls too. It’s weird.
I dated a chiropractor once. She was a real head turner. Don’t worry, she soon set me straight! Chiropractors are not all they are cracked up to be. It’s spine. Really it is.
This Critter Trophy Head Replica is going to look good in your home. There’s nothing like a critter above your sh*ter. As long as they aren’t coming from the toilet we’re all good. These guys are seriously messed up. The only species in the galaxy that failed to evolve toward basic dental care. C’mon… I’m not gonna make a joke about the British. You guys…
I’ll put this critter on the wall and act all tough like I shot it myself, when really I hid in some bushes while my Safari guide took it down. That’s one thing you have to know about me, I’ll only talk tough and brave when I already have your head on the wall.
TheScaryCloset lives up to their name by storing murderous dolls in their closet. Like Slappy The Dummy From Goosebumps and Annabelle from the Conjuring. These life sized replicas are pure nightmare fuel. Never want to sleep again? Buy these freaky freak faces. Yeah, these things are conjuring goosebumps all over my skin.
Click through for a shot of Anabelle too. It’s stuff like this that reminds me there’s a hell. You gotta act right or this is your afterlife. Having lunch with Lucifer and his demon dolls for all eternity. I’m changing my ways. At the very least, no more using swiffer pads and putting them back in the box, so I can get my money back. I’m turning over a new leaf. Read more “Goosebumps Slappy The Dummy Replica And Annabelle From The Conjuring”
If you want some scary candy, you can make skeleton parts with these Skeleton Molds. Make yourself a skull-sucker, some sour ribs, whatever you want. You can get parts for the upper body and the lower body. I’m gonna make an entire chocolate skeleton. Do you dare me to eat the whole thing? Do you double-dog dare me? Triple-dog dare me? Where the hell did you get so many dogs?
Okay, you had me with the original dare. When it comes to eating chocolate I am in fact Daredevil. Cuz I’m all over Netflix while I chomp away and it looks like Hell’s Kitchen up in here. Read more “Skeleton Molds For Making Creepy Candy”
Are you interested in these awesome Colorful Embellished Human Skull Replicas? Yeah? Going once. Going twice. Skulled to the highest bidder. I almost said bidet. They will not be sold to the highest bidet because 1) It’s too tall and 2)bidets don’t buy things. They just shoot water up your bum-hole.
Now that we have that cleared up, or should I say now that your butt has been sprayed clean, I can tell you about these fancy decorative skulls from etsy seller PoorYorickSkulls. They come in all kinds of styles and colors. Not all kinds of shapes cuz you know, skulls is skulls. My uncle used to say that. I would tug on his sleeve and say, “Isn’t she pretty uncle? She has a nice face.” He would look and say, “Eh. Skulls is skulls. But she’s got some nice *beep*. It rhymes with holes. My uncle was an ass. I should really visit him in jail someday soon.
Anywho these skulls is awesome. Here’s a song I wrote.
These skulls ain’t got no souls.
Ain’t got no use for Doctor Scholls.
Magic so hype,
They keep your daughters off poles.
Decorate yer house,
They frighten moles.
It’s got a nose hole,
And some eye holes,
You know you love it,
So shut your pie-holes.
