Tag: halloween

Humpty Dumpty Halloween Weirdness

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Humpty Dumpty Halloween Weirdness
Here’s something to get egg-cited about. Etsy seller AllysonNagelOriginal makes all kinds of weird, but cool, Humpty Dumpty porcelain figures and scenes. I hear they were still making these figures right up until Yolk-o broke up the band and left things scrambled.

These figures are fun. They make me want to do the Humpty Dance with all of you. *Some woman in Iowa gasps in horror, then calls the police to try to stop this mass orgy before it happens.* Chill lady. I mean it in a non-pervy way. For once. Check out the bonus video below.

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump.
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Hand Of Glory Candle Holder

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hand candelabra
This hand of glory candle holder should be very handy when the power goes out. As long as some wizard/mad scientist doesn’t re-animate the thing. I don’t mind a weird re-animated hand pinching my butt so much, it’s the setting fire to my pants that I have a problem with. *Runs around like a cartoon, trailing smoke and jumps in a tub of cold water.* Ahhhhh. That’s much better.

I actually used to have one of these, but then I high-fived it and set the drapes on fire. Now I’m not allowed to have fire-things.
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Scary Skull Pens

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Scary Skull Pens
They say that the pen is mightier than the sword. Which is probably why you see so many swashbucklers armed with ball-point pens. Not! Stupid English sayings. I’ll totally destroy a pen with a sword. I can’t show you right now cuz I’m only allowed to use Nerf swords in the house.

You know what pen might be scarier than a sword? These Scary Skull Pens. They have Skulls on top with red eyes. Pretty cool. Does anyone even know how to use these things anymore? Or have we all de-evolved back to monkeys? Well, if you do know how to use one of these things still, these pens are refillable. I’d fill it with calcium obviously, so my pen continues to have strong bones.

Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set

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Miniature Laboratory Set
Sweet. A Mad Scientist 1:12 Miniature Laboratory Set. For very tiny Mad Scientists. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably because they have to wear lab coats all the time and can’t rock a fancy sweater-vest or UFO Jacket.

I’m buying it. That way if someone ever shrinks me down, I have a lab already set up and can make a potion to make me big again. *Knocks back a test tube full of blue junk.* Glug glug glug. It’s working! It’s working! *Head braeks through the ceiling. Stuck there. Looks around at the roof and birds and stuff.*

Good thing I’m prepared. Ordered another set to keep on the roof in case of exactly this kind of emergency. Now where’d it go. I- Da Fuq? Get away from that lab, squirrel! Is that meth? Oh sh*t. It’s all methed up and coming for me.
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Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf

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Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf
Kraken of the Sea. Isn’t that what happens when the can says Chicken of the Sea, but when you open it, tentacles flail out, getting all in your nostrils and stuff? Happened to me once. Tickled.

This Kraken Of The Sea Hooded Scarf is a hoodie and a scarf in one. It’s being modeled by a lovely redhead who was just a mermaid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The right place would have been my place. The right time? 9 o’clock. Before you come over, slip into something a little more casual. I already have tentacles that will be all over you. *Raises eyebrows up and down.*
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