*What’s that?* Oh, that’s just my trusty Space Unicorn. He doesn’t do much. Just sits there. Looks awesome. No lasers shoot from the eyes and it doesn’t poop glitter. It just does it’s own awesome thing. It was probably attracted to my awesome manliness and my sweet bachelor pad. *Yeah right. It was probably attracted to your virginity!*
Hey, you take that back! *Can’t take back what hasn’t been lost yet* Fair enough. I just like it because it’s pretty and sparkly.
This tea pot has a mouth. I mean it isn’t going to curse at you or anything. It just has a full, luscious and inviting mouth. The matching sugar and creamer also each have mouths. You can make them kiss.
Is it yawning? Singing? I have no idea. If you want some tea, it will be more than happy to regurgitate some for you without leaving too much backwash in your cup. Whatever else you do with it is your business.
Read more “Tea Pot / Coffee Pot With Mouth”
The first thing that hits me about these Plush Butt Tissue Box Covers is that these butts are always being wiped. I mean, they have to be the cleanest butts ever, plush or otherwise. If I could poop toilet paper, my butt might actually get clean. For once.
Plush Butts. It’s fun to say. Plush Butts. I have to sing it with the Duck Tales theme, cuz everything goes with the Duck Tales song.
Plush Butts. Wooo hooo. Do do do da do do do do do Plush Butts. Wooo hooo.
Plush Butts are better than slush butts. Take it from someone who has had a serious case of both in the past.
Tired of friends leaving sweat rings or drink stains on your tabletop? No worries. Try these Cat Butt Coasters: The Quicker Pucker-Upper. Just lay them out when you have company and these little clenched up Cat butts will keep your surfaces clean.
Keep them away from that one guy. You know, that one guy everybody knows, who has to be the joker and like, starts pushing M & M’s through the pink knitting in the center. He’s all like, hey look at this guys. He gives a chocolate suppository to the coaster and embarrasses everybody, so that you regret even inviting him over. Yeah, sadly I am that guy.
Are numbers too much for you? If you can’t figure out how to read a clock by using the hands and numbers, this Clock Hands Wall Clock takes it down to basics for you, showing just the hands. It’s like this one, but not quite.
I don’t need no stinkin’ numbers on my fancy timepiece. I tell time like every other American. By what’s on TV. Which also tells you the day. For instance if Better Call Saul is on, I know it’s Monday night at 10. Thing is, I don’t do well when people are watching DVDs all damn day. I’m trying to figure out the day and time people! What day is it? What year am I in? *Cries*