Glass Octopus – Don’t Crack My Kraken

Glass Octopus - Don't Crack My Kraken
Treat this Glass Octopus with care. He’s delicate and fragile. He’s got feelings. So treat him gently. Don’t crack the Kraken. These crazy creepy works of art come in any color you like. That blue version looks real scary. Just one of the many reasons I don’t go in the ocean. Thing’s got eight arms for God’s sake! With suckers! That’s like 8 suckered snakes attacking you all at once.

Still, that’s a damn cool Octopus. That Octopus ain’t no wuss.

Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace

Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch
It’s always tentacle time when you wear this Black Octopus Victorian Style Pocket Watch Necklace around your neck. Is it ten-tacle past five yet? I have an important appointment. Funny behind the scenes fact: At first I typed “I have an impotent appointment.” But that isn’t true. I can assure you that everything is working fine here. I repeat I AM NOT seeing a wiener doctor because my Ballpark frank is stuck in cocktail weenie mode. Glad we could clear that up.

So anyway, this is a sweet ass pocket watch with an octopus. That you can wear around your neck. Pry open those tentacles and you get to see the time even. We live in an amazing time. I mean, hell, doctors these days can cure anything- No, I didn’t mean- Trust me, I’m all good down there. But if I wasn’t, it would only happen that one time. Perfectly normal!
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Octopus Tentacles And Dragonscale Mugs

Octopus Tentacles And Dragonscale Mugs
These cool Octopus Tentacles And Dragonscale Mugs from CogsnCords look great. Let’s you and me get them and we can bump uglies. By uglies I mean tentacles. And dragonscales.

I hope those tentacles don’t reach back in the mug and drink my beer all up, but I wouldn’t mind if they tickled my mustache and under my chin while I’m taking a long swig. The dragonscales won’t be any trouble. Let’s you pet a dragon while you are getting drunk. I guess you’re draining the dragon as you drink up too. These mugs are awesome.
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Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints

Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints
Yeah, this is what’s Kraken on your walls. These Kraken Triptych Wall Art Prints are kraka-laka-crazy. You can practically hear the screams of seamen as it attacks the boat. I know that sounds sexual, but notice I spelled seamen the right way and everything. So you are the one with their mind in the gutter. I suggest you get it up out of the gutter,rinse it off real good with soap and water and try again. Really. Some people.

Anyway, that ship is full of seamen whether it likes it or not and once the Kraken attacks, that beast is gonna have a whole mouth full of seamen. Bits of seamen will probably be all over it’s face. There’s gonna be seamen spraying everywhere.

It’s a cool set of prints.
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Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles

Blue Tentacle Plant Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?

I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.

Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
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