Tag: ooak

Get Clean Lickety Split With Tongue Soap

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

tongue soap
Dogs do it. Cats do it. You should too. I’m not talking about licking your own butt while you stick your leg in the air like some carnival freak. I am talking about cleaning yourself. With your tongue. Your soap tongue. This Human Tongue Soap will get you clean, but may leave you feeling dirty.

It’s perfect for bathing with your partner. Hey, can you tongue under my arms? I have some serious BO. Also, my butt is really dirty today. It needs some extra tongue. Yeah right there. That’s a little tongue in cheek humor, right there.

You can also get the “With Teeth” soap dish shown to go with it if you want to be really weird.

Crazy 3 Foot Tall Monster Strung Up On A Tree

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

hanging monster
He has terrorized you from under the bed for too long. He scares you to death even when you have a night light on all night. He steals your rolled up socks and puts sticky stuff inside so your mom finds it and sighs in disgust. So, when you finally catch the boogeyman, you know what to do. Tie his gnarled hands up and string him up in a tree for the whole neighborhood to see.

This 3 foot tall monster is nasty and just begging to be tortured by an angry mob as he hangs in that tree. “Drool included” of course.
Read more “Crazy 3 Foot Tall Monster Strung Up On A Tree”

The Anorexic Dead: Zombie Barbies

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

zombie barbies
Hey, it’s Barbie. The doll that spawned a thousand eating disorders. Now she’s a zombie and wants brains. Well, she has always needed a brain, she just wasn’t smart enough to know it. Now she will rip it from your dead and bleeding skull just like she did with Ken’s nut sack.

You can choose from Lindsay Nohand, Britney Speared, Messica Simpson, ZooEYE Deschanel and more. Funny thing is, Barbie is eating better as a Zombie than she ever did as an ordinary waif/trollop. If she keeps eating those brains she might actually put some meat on her bones. It would be rotting corpse meat, but still.
Read more “The Anorexic Dead: Zombie Barbies”

Mr. Predator Action Figure

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

predator action figure
This Mr. Predator action figure would be loads of fun. You could use your other action figures and play out all kinds of real world situations. Things that might happen to “Mr. Predator”.

Hello Mr. Predator. Thank you for coming to the job interview. I see here you are skilled at hunting and setting off nuclear weapons in the jungle. Can’t see through mud though. Hmmm. That might be a problem here seeing as how this pottery factory makes goods from clay. With a face like that you should be opening metal cans for a living. Ha ha ha.

The interview always ends with Mr. Predator removing the guy’s spine and tucking it in his briefcase, before adjusting his tie and walking out the door.
Read more “Mr. Predator Action Figure”

Igor Marty Feldman Head From Young Frankenstein: It’s Abby-Normal

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Igor

Today is your lucky day if you want to own a replica of Marty Feldman’s face as Igor from Young Frankenstein. Do you want to own it? Yes master I do. Then go and buy it from Etsy seller STUDIOLABORATORIO51. Quickly Igor before it sells out! Yes master!

Check out the bonus video of thing below, complete with it’s own soundtrack.
Read more “Igor Marty Feldman Head From Young Frankenstein: It’s Abby-Normal”