Who needs VR when you are playing with this Great Horror Movie Villains Paper Dolls Book and you start getting paper cuts cuz Freddy and his buddies are slashing at you. Shizz just got real. Oh yeah Freddy? How about I put your doll in the fireplace? Or get a paper dollhouse and make you roomates with that chick from the Misery movie? How you like that? Ow! You little- That’s it! No more paper dolls for me. I’m locking you all up together so you can kill each other. Once the feeling returns to my hands!
Tag: strange
Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces
These Bronze and Silver Bird Skull Necklaces are caw-ing your name ladies. See what I did there. That’s just some wordplay to get things started, cuz I know how you like it. I’m not some savage who just whips out his bird (necklace) first thing. But forget all that. Throw caw-tion to the wind and accessorize with these awesome skulls, with sapphire, ruby, topaz, amethyst and peridot stones. Caws you deserve it. I promise you won’t cry fowl. The price? A poultry sum. I’m not gonna crow about it anymore. Even though they are worth raven about.
Glass Octopus Pendants
Hey Octopus! Your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower. Wait, is that how the saying goes. More like, your ass is glass and I’m the Glassblower. Haha. Burn! Wait, that really sounds wrong. Anyway, these Glass Octopus Pendants are awesome. What’s Kraken? Hopefully not these guys! They can’t take a hit, cuz I heard they have a glass jaw. I wonder where they’re from. Glass-gow? Enough dumb-(gl)ass Octopus jokes. These glass octopus pendants from EmergentGlassworks are going to look great on you. Especially if you are wearing an ocean themed shirt. You ladies are gonna rock-to-pus this octopus.
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Horror Character Lineup Baby Blanket
Do you have a baby? I bet it screams a lot and poops itself. I totally get that. I too have irritable bowel syndrome. Well, give your baby something to really scream about and put this Horror Character Lineup Baby Blanket in his or her crib. Cuz it’s never too late to scar your child for life and make some therapist filthy rich. It features Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, Michael Meyers and more.
What’s junior screaming about? Probably needs his diaper changed. Nope, he’s just terrified of his new play friends. God only knows what kind of weirdo that kid is going to grow up to be. The next Freddy? Could be.
Alien Invasion Resistance Manual
Don’t be caught off guard when the bum-plungers come in the dead of night to do their crazy experiments on you. Be prepared. The Alien Invasion Resistance Manual will prepare you. Know your enemy. Know your rights! Is it legal under galactic law to travel billions of light years and probe some Earthlings rectum? I have no idea, but I’m hoping this book tells me the answer, cuz I can’t afford an alien lawyer.
In true Haynes style, the Alien Invasion Resistance Manual aims to demonstrate how with the right knowledge, training and a substantial reel of aluminum foil, the concerned citizen can really hit ET where it hurts. You can protect your home and family from mind-bending abductions, you can ensure that you remain free of any sinister implants and you can determine which shape-shifting lizards are working to take over society. Accompanied by illustrations, maps, diagrams and step-by-step instructions, this resistance manual will be essential reading for those interested in protecting the planet from alien invaders.
– Discover the truth about aliens and how they have already infiltrated Earth
– Learn the real story behind the Roswell crash, Area 51 and terrifying facts about alien abductions
– Read about the alien species that threaten us -from the DNA-hungry Greys to the shape shifting Draconian reptiles
– Become an Extra-terrestrial Prepper – trained and ready to defend our planet
– Create an abduction ‘safe room’ in your home and learn how to fight alien invaders
– A comprehensive analysis of alien invasion strategies and how humanity can defeat them
– A complete blueprint to the defending of our Solar System
– Plus hundreds of new uses for aluminum foil