This Crow Skull Hair Tie is really something to crow about. I only know about this because a little birdie told me. Psst. It was the birdie in my hair. He can’t keep his beak out of my business. You know what they say, a bird in the hair is worth 2 in your bush. Although, why you would put birds down there I have no idea. Hey, it’s your bush, let it thrive with beautiful birdies.
Tag: tie
Squid Neckties
These Squid Neckties are almost as good as wearing an actual squid around your neck. In fact they are better. Let’s count the ways.
1- They won’t choke you with their tentacles.
2- Your shirt will not be wet and smell like seaweed.
3- You won’t smell like Squid all day.
4- The ink on these ties won’t shoot in your eye.
5- You can’t hang a bunch of Squid in your closet.
6- You can’t iron and starch a Squid. You can, but the stink!
All great reasons to choose these over a real Squid tie.
Alien Ties: Dress For Alien Abduction Success
Now we join an alien abduction already in progress…
“Beeble-brix zat-sylum kubri-saq.” Nudges his alien buddy and points at the Alien Tie the victim is wearing.
“Axl-herkl Haw-gab nee-srink!” *LOL* Which translates to, “He worships us. This one deserves extra lube!”
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Cthulhu Neckties
Before the days of Etsy if you wanted a Cthulhu Necktie you had to go out and buy an octopus and let it live on the back of your neck, tentacles going down your chest. Eventually it would merge with you and share your mind-space. If you kept it moist enough it would even shake hands with your business associates for you.
Well, those days are gone. But that disgusting slimy feeling on the back of your neck lasts forever. Now you can just buy a tie with Cthulhu on it. We are living in an amazing age.
Cheeseburger Tie
I could drip grease and burger sauce all over this Cheeseburger Tie and nobody would notice. I’ll just wear it as a napkin and dab at the corners of mouth after every meal, like a truly civilized cheeseburger eater. Anyway, your accessories should match whatever you are putting in your mouth. At least that’s what Honey Boo Boo’s mom says. Which explains why she is fond of mayonnaise colored moo moos.
Sadly, I find myself blogging from KFC, where this tie won’t work at all. Anyway, I’m out. Time to close this laptop and get off the toilet. What the? No toilet paper? Is this a joke? Why would KFC not have toilet paper. Or even some napkins. Oh, that’s right. Cuz it’s finger lickin’ good! Real funny Colonel Sanders. Just for that I ain’t flushin’. There’s your bucket of chicken back.