Apparently the drinking age on Alpha Centauri is like 2 years old. I know an alien baby when I see one. This guy is probably like 10 months old and they didn’t bother to card him. Now he’s all laying on the bar, kicking at the bottle as he chugs it all down. Dreaming of the day when he’s old enough to fly his own UFO under the influence.
FYI: This Alien Wine bottle holder looks scary as hell without a bottle in it’s mouth. Click the link to check it out.
This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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This Vino De Nosferatu Decanter and Glasses set will let you have a drink with Dracula. Have a nip with Nosferatu. You get free matching table accessories too. Raise a toast. You’ll be Vlad you did. Eck! Your blood tastes terrible. Why do you have to be so negative?
This set looks pretty cool. Way to luxurious and rich for my blood. Which tastes terrible by the way. So don’t invite me over. My blood is a terrible vintage.
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I wish I had one of these Wine Bottle Life Preserver Covers for that cruise I took last summer. And by cruise I mean single fat white dude floating down a river in an inner tube, hugging a bag of Doritos and a bottle of wine.
The water got pretty rough and upended my bag of chips and I lost that bottle of wine as I helplessly floated away. I shouted, “Man overboard! I mean Booze overboard!” but there was nothing I could do but cry and mourn as the water carried me away. So needless. Such a senseless loss. Next time I’ll be prepared. Might even have pants on too. But not likely.
Bats in your belfry? That’s cool. Me too. I also keep my wine in there, so these Fruit Bat wine accessories are perfect. Good butler! Fetch me some wine and a fruit bat to open it with! These bar accessories would be awesome in Bruce Waynes Batcave or even in a haunted house. They come in a coffin box. Just $75 from Etsy seller Dellamorteco.
I used to have a pet fruit bat, but he died from the lack of fruit in the house. Apparently, fruit roll ups and starbursts don’t count. You live, you learn. Well, I live, I learn. Him not so much.
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