It’s never too early to indoctrinate your dolls into the world of the Illuminati. This RIP NWO Miniature Dollhouse Illuminati Tombstone will help.
I’m confused. Are their plans for a New World Order dead? Or is it saying “Rest In Peace” because the New World Order has arrived? Either way, the Illuminati will be watching your dolls with that all-seeing-eye. *Makes triangle symbol with hands.*
My work here is done.
Happy birthday Jesus. I got you this Jesus Sweater. But you already knew that. Yeah, I know it’s a little early, but I wanted to get this out of the way so I can celebrate Christmas with Santa. Dude gives me all the cool presents. You know how it is. We cool? Aight! Catch ya on the flip side. No, don’t worry ’bout it. Ain’t no bother for the holy father.
*Lightning flashes down and I evaporate into a pile of ash.*
You know what I said when I saw this on the store shelf. “C’mon ya old bag of bones!” Cuz I have to keep grandma sharp or she loses focus. Then I pointed out this Cheetos Bag of Bones and told her to buy it for me. Then we argued for like 15 minutes about how much allowance I had left and how much that Star wars figure from the other day cost. There was like $4 left over. Duh! You don’t know!
Anyway, I spent the rest of the night doing forensics on these dusty bones, putting them together like a mad scientist and then eating them like an even madder mad scientist. Like a really aggro, in need of therapy mad scientist. It was awesome.
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This Taxidermy Bat Candelabra is perfect for your haunted house. What? Everybody doesn’t have one? Mine’s been haunted for ages. By me. Sometimes my guests see a hazy green vapor that looks like ectoplasm and it is accompanied by a horrible stench. And the terrible groaning! Well, that’s what I get for eating the Burger King Black Whopper.
Back to the candelabra. It belongs in my batcave. But first I have to walk through like a mile of guano and clear it with the Elder bat. So I think I’ll pass.
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It’s that time of year peeps. That time when we dress up like monsters and go door to door expecting free stuff that will rot our teeth and fill our belly. Let’s take a look at some f**ked up kids costumes. Some of these are just weird, some may be a bad choice for innocent kids, others may scar a kid for life.
Like this Zombie Tutu Dress. Put it on your kid and they will have a strange desire to bite innocent victims and play hide and seek in a cemetery all day. When night comes, they’ll probably dig up a corpse and have a little midnight snack.
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