Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Alien Abduction Soap Dispenser

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

ufo soapFinally there is a soap dispenser that will wash away the stink of alien abduction. Because the way things are right now you can scrub and scrub and never feel clean. This soap dispenser was designed by Duncan Shotton. This UFO soap dispenser displays an alien abduction as it is happening. One version has the aliens stealing a human, the other a cow.

No matter which version you choose, your hands will be nice and clean even if you want to scream on the inside and remove your alien implant with a steak knife.
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Pizza Dragon: A Song Of Cheese And Fire

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

pizza dragonWhen you order this awesome Pizza Dragon, he flies to your house in a half hour or less, or he’s free. Free to set your face on fire, while he drips flaming grease and pepperoni from his wings like the vengeful winged stuffed-scale crust pizza demon that he is.

That gives me an awesome idea for a pizza chain. I’m gonna raise baby pizza dragons. I’ll raise some pepperoni, some with other toppings. They don’t even need to go into the oven since they practically cook themselves. Best of all I won’t need drivers. Just pay for your Dragon-Pizza and it gets set free so it can fly to your house. I would get rave reviews too:

“By the time I caught the thing I had third degree burns and melted cheese all over my house and now I’m undergoing throat surgery since it’s saucy blood was like lava.”

“It was OK, but my wife and Khaleesi is the Mother of Dragons. She was pretty pissed when she found out what we were eating.”

“The sausage was all carbon and ash by the time it got here. Then it ate my cat, which sucked, however, it immediately grew new bits of sausage all over it’s cheesy skin between the wings… with bits of fur in it. At least I didn’t have to bury my animal. Thanks Pizza Dragon!”
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Custom Domino’s Pizza Noid Mech Figure

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

noidI know I’m supposed to avoid the Noid because he just wants to ruin my pizza by crushing it or making it cold, but I just can’t resist this awesome custom figure from KodykoalaToys, maker of all kinds of cool customs.

Remember when they had that rule about delivery in 30 minutes or your pizza is free? Good times. The trick to free pizza in those days was to order from a pay phone outside of the Domino’s shop and then pour sugar in the driver’s gas tank. Then when they go to use another car you block that one in. After that you run around the parking lot in your Noid costume and act crazy. The driver will run back inside because everyone fears the Noid. Steal a car and park it on the sidewalk so it blocks the door. By now at least 15 minutes have passed. The police are almost here. They will arrive in a minute and take their time questioninging the workers. Flip everyone the bird and laugh maniacally. Then go home and await your free pizza and an apology. Ah memories.
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Zombie Cutting Boards

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

zombie cutting boardThese zombie cutting boards are perfect for slicing and dicing. They are like a zombie killing manual for your kitchen, showing you where to hack and chop zombies for maximum damage. Basically these cutting boards make you an efficient disposer of walking corpses.

After the Kickstarter campaign completes successfully, (You know it will because zombies on a cutting board, hello.) they will create each buyer’s choice of zombie-themed cutting board or bread board. The thing is I’m not much of a zombie fighter. I’m more of a zombie go away as I hide in the corner, curled in the fetal position kind of guy. Sadly, they don’t have a cutting board depicting my particular cowardly style of dealing with rotting walkers.

Update: Now you can buy it from Etsy here.

via Technabob

Sharkini Sexy Shark Costume / Bathing Suit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

sharkiniIf you can’t beat them, join them. In other words, we all know you are going to be bitten by a shark if you swim in the ocean, so you may as well wear a bikini with a shark bite taken out of it already. Makes sense. Maybe the sharks will leave you alone. No one likes leftovers.

Anyway, that’s what the sharkini is all about. Beating sharks at their own game. Those prehistoric toothy bastards scare me to death. Maybe I can use the sharkini to take a swim safely too. Nah. That would be a whale in shark’s clothing. Know what I’m sayin’? No? *sigh* Basically I’m fat and like comics. Happy now? For the record, I’m just big boned. Like fossils from the Jurassic period big. What of it?

Hey, check out that sharkini model. Can’t blame the shark for takin’ a bite outta that. Am I right?
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