Category: Just Plain Weird

Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plush

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

pet pillows
So how do you want to remember Sparky and Fluffy when they are long gone? By looking at an urn on the mantle? Nah. Pet ashes fall on the carpet and make a mess. Then you breath that jazz in and get all possessed by your cat. Eventually being sent to the nuthouse after you have scratched up all of the furniture and peed in the corner too many times. There’s a better way.

Put your pets image on these Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plushes. That way you can still cuddle and hug your pet. Having a giant cat head on your couch will still look creepy, but it beats the alternative of lifting your leg and peeing in your padded cell.
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Spider Lamp Makes A Great Fright-Light

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spider lamp
This crazy Spider Lamp has a big old butt that lights up. At least this spider makes it’s presence known. It’s the ones you can’t see that you have to worry about. The ones in your corners, the ones gently repelling down from the ceiling, the ones under your blankets at night…

You’re welcome. If it makes you feel any better, I’m all itchy and paranoid now too, but that may just be the result of 3 Red Bulls and a bag of Kit-Kats. I do what I have to for you guys, working all kinds of hours. Is it normal to see dust orbs that turn into angels and then rummage through your underwear drawer, while losing all feeling in your left hand?

Soap Pistol With .45 Caliber Bullet Candles

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bullet candles
I have never been so dirty that I have needed a gun and some bullets to get clean. But just in case I ever am that filthy, I’m going to get me this Soap Pistol With .45 Caliber Bullet Candles. I can look tough while bathing, as I rub this gun all over my body, under the light cast from some bullet candles.

Pew! Pew! Pew! Hey, my gun is shrinking! Is that normal? No, not that gun!

This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for bathing and one is for fun!

MySack Golf Ball Storage Sack

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golf ball sack
You need some golf ball storage? Just use MySack. The MySack Golf Ball Storage Sack. Nah. Go ahead. Take it. I’m not using it. Just hang MySack from your belt. Make sure you fondle it occasionally, just to make sure your balls have all dropped to the bottom. Don’t worry, it will feel soft since it is made of ultra suede. Just don’t overdo it. It’s sensitive. Oh and keep it dry to avoid shrinkage.

You’re welcome.

Asylum For The Insane Note Card Set

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insane stationary
I have stationary like this from when my wife had her “little vacation”. Kept saying I drove her crazy! That’s insane! And just not true! But I did drive her right up to the front doors of the asylum. They gave me some sweet swag like this Asylum For The Insane Notecard Set and a bunch of pharmaceutical key chains and crap, from the pill pushers who really make people crazy. Then I drove off and partied like it was 1999, even though it was 2008. That’s just how much the booze cost.

Don’t worry, I picked her up again after a few days when I couldn’t figure out how to heat up a TV dinner and after I ruined the toaster, trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich. She felt much better being with more “normal” people. Then we just continued our relationship where we left off. Throwing heavy items at each other and then tending each other’s wounds.
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