Category: Just Plain Weird

Human Skeleton Playing Cards

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human skeleton playing cards
The head bone’s connected to the neck bone. The neck bone’s connected to the shoulder bone… I can’t get that song out of my head now. Well, if you want to learn about bones and win some money in a card game at the same time… Well, that probably makes you a Doctor with a gambling problem, but that’s okay.

Even if you aren’t a fancy Doctor, these Human Skeleton Playing Cards will teach you everything you need to know in case you ever have to do surgery in a grimy back alley, with sirens wailing nearby. Been there, done that! Doodled my way through the court proceedings!

They feature the names of the bones in English, Spanish and French. It’s practically like back alley med school for three different countries!

Toilets Of The World Book

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toilets of the world
This Toilets Of The World Book is like a travel book for your privates. I like to get a hot cup of tea and relax as I page through it, acting out the noises my bowels would make in each unique toilet. Which isn’t as easy as it sounds.

For instance, when I drop bombs in the traditional English ‘thunderbox’ is it prone to splashing? Does it echo ever so slightly? How cold is my bottom? What about the Swazi thatched ‘beehive’ hut? Is it low on water, causing my sadistic and stinky soft-serve to mound on itself until a roughly shaped beehive is formed?

Oh how I love the travel of the mind. I feel like I am there. And lighting a match.

Life-Size Needle Felted Two Headed Hatchling Faux Taxidermy

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two headed baby bird faux taxidermy
Ah, the miracle of life. Make that mutation. This Life-Size Needle Felted Two Headed Hatchling should serve all of your felted fowl decorative needs. Basically what we are talking about here is a felted bird fetus. With two heads. Big deal. I create these things all the time when I microwave my Easter Peeps.

Although mine don’t look like they fell out of an egg while doing the nasty. I know they’re conjoined and all, but that big guy in back looks like he is really going to town on that other one. What can a small head do, but lay there and take it? Poor guy. It’ll be over soon. Then big head will just do it again. And again. For your whole felted life. Nature can be so cruel.

Imprison Your Cell Phone In This Cell Phone Cage

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cell phone cage
In this connected world that we live in sometimes you have to force yourself to break away from Facebook, Snapchat and the like, and spend some time having actual face to face communication. And since we all have zero willpower, that means you have to lock up your phones in a maximum security prison.

That’s what this cell phone cage is all about. You can lock multiple phones in this jail for up to 60 minutes at a time. It even has little bunks they can sleep on. When the time expires, it will play silly audio like “Justice is served, power up!”, “You are now free to phone”, and “It’s time to rejoin digital society”. And if it’s opened an alarm will sound.

Oh so you are texting in the middle of my story about how I got a sweet deal at the store? You have to take that call now do you? Right when we are in the middle of a board game? Your phone is incarcerated pal! This time with no possibility of parole!

Your phone now has a 30 day sentence. I found a micro SD shiv on the top bunk and the Samsung in the bunk below has a scratch.

Zombie Head Candles: Do I Smell Brains?

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zombie candles
These small zombie candles look like Simpsons zombies. Sure, you’ll smell their brains burning, but at least you get to watch some heads bleed and melt. The seller says that their names are Homer, Eyegore, Homer with blood and Fergal.

You can get them with or without blood splatters. They are perfect for Halloween or as a stress reliever. Call me crazy, but there’s something soothing about watching heads melt. Maybe that’s just me.