Tag: ceramic

Houseware Of Horrors

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housewares of horrors
Etsy seller shaynegreco has all kinds of housewares with horrible things crawling all over them. Mostly sea creatures. The only time I’ve seen crabs this size crawling on plates was when I visited that “Gentleman’s club/ Diner” in New Orleans. (Bad combination. Do NOT recommend.) At least these won’t be moving and they won’t require a doctor in a hazmat suit to shut down the premises.

This seller has Octopi on platters, crabs on china and other monstrosities that don’t belong on your dishware. Every time you serve yourself on these creepy plates you are fighting creatures for your food. Get off Lobster! Mine! Go find Nemo and leave my food alone!
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Pink Floyd vs. “The Wall” Chess Set

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

pink floyd chess set
We don’t need no education. We don’t need no thought control. But DO WANT this awesome Pink Floyd Chess Set. It’s the band Pink Floyd vs. the characters from The Wall. AND has the Dark Side of the Moon prism album art right on the board.

This chess set is pretty awesome. Although you would have to say Trip-mate just before you win, because it’s so trippy.

Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb? This Etsy seller just did, cuz this thing is da bomb.

If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat? I have no idea, but here’s what we’ll do. I’ll just skip both and have some cheese nachos. Cool? Are we good with that? Excellent!
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Shark Serving Plate

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

shark serving plate
We’re gonna need a bigger fork! This crazy Shark Serving Plate is all about the thrill of rescuing your food from the waiting jaws of a great white shark and putting it in your own tooth-hole.

Quit sharkin’ around my food holmes, or there’s gonna be blood in the water! That sweet chum is all mine!

*Shines flashlight down it’s throat*

What the- A Reese’s Piece, a half-chewed skittle and a gummi bear? I forgot I was using this as a candy dish. Awesome! Dinner just got a whole lot more- What the? A cigarette butt!

Who’s been using my shark as an ashtray?

Mythical Creature Dioramas

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mythical creature diorama chupacabra
These mythical creature dioramas from Etsy seller PearsonMaron are a fun way to celebrate El Chupacabra, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. These fun and cartoony scenes make these terrifying creatures a little friendlier. I’m sure that Chupacabra is not going to suck all of the blood from that goat. He’s just gonna- Oh, who am I kidding? He is going to rip that goat a new throat-hole and then go back to the underground lab that genetically spawned him.

These creatures scare me to death. The other day I visited a petting zoo and spotted some hoof prints in the snow and I knew that either a Chupacabra or a demon was on the loose.

Those were just baby goat tracks.

Really? Then how do you explain the fact that they were FOLLOWING that baby goat from behind? I never did see it again. It’s the same way I know when a Bigfoot is following me. His tracks are always leading right TO ME. I am so close to cracking this conspiracy.
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Nasty Human Mouth Coffee Cup

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mouth coffee cup
Is it wrong that these nasty mouth coffee cups make me want to tongue my mug really good to get that last drop of coffee? I’m a sucker for a mouth that looks like it belongs to a sea hag with a serious meth problem. No, meth problem. Not math problem. She only has a math problem if she can’t count the few teeth she has.

These human mouth coffee mugs certainly look enticing. They are based on new technology that makes you vomit a little in your cup for every sip you take. A sip of coffee for a bit of sick sounds like a fair exchange to me. However that anus with a tooth known as “C” really scares me.
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