Tag: etsy

Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances

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Ouija Board Pillow For Sleepy Seances
I had a Ouija Board Pillow like this once, but I had to get rid of it. I would wake up in the morning to find a medium and a bunch of other people standing around my bed. I say medium, really she was more like a large, maybe XL. They were getting messages from the pillow based on how me, a human planchette, tossed and turned and which letters I drooled on.

Come to think of it, that wasn’t a medium and a bunch of people. I think those were all ghosts that my drooling tossing and turning conjured up.

Skeleton Hands Bra

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Skeleton Hands Bra
Man, I love this skeleton hands bra. What? No, not for myself. Girls just look so sexy when old and decrepit bones are holding up their fun bags. Ask any gold-digger. Too bad I don’t know someone who bought this, cuz I would totally paint my hands all black with realistic bones and just cup them stealthily from behind until I got caught and eventually incarcerated. Now do you see why I don’t have anyone of the fairer sex in my life? It’s cuz I’m a real class act! True that!

Fairer sex! Pfft! If they’re so fair, why don’t any of them give me a chance?

Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug

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Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug
*Looks at the Enjoy The Probing Alien Coffee Mug. Shrugs.* Okay, fine. I will. I’ll try to enjoy it. Actually, it’s pretty uncomfortable. I’ll enjoy the mug for sure. The coffee will be enjoyable. No guarantees about the probing.

Hey, if you had any idea how much it hurts, you would know that it’s gonna take a lot more than a funny mug to cheer me up after. You try letting a spaceman ram his rocket into a crater on Uranus and see how you feel. Maybe YOU should enjoy the probing. How about this? If you enjoy it, I’ll enjoy it. Deal? K. No take backs.

Buddha Cthulhu

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Buddha Cthulhu
Meditate on this! Buddha Cthulhu offers not enlightenment, but insanity. Buddha Cthulhu just laughs at you. Telepathically. You are beneath him. He cares not for your Earthly vessel and your Earthly problems. He just wants to sit and chill. So why are you bothering him. F**k off! Give BC some space and get out of his tentacled face. What does an ancient evil have to do to get some peace and quiet?

Put this guy on your desk and bask in his awesomeness.
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Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book

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Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book
At first I thought “Coloring with your octopus” was code for something, but it turns out its just an awesome coloring book for adults. The Coloring With Your Octopus Coloring Book is based on Brian Kesinger’s popular picture book “Walking Your Octopus“. That book shows the day-to-day adventures of Victoria Psismall and her pet land octopus Otto.

I tried to color with my octopus once but he refuses to use crayons. He just wants to ink. This coloring book has forty-eight pages for you to color.
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