Tag: etsy

Monster Coffin Framed Prints

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etsy monster coffin
These monster art prints from Etsy seller bwanadevilart will decorate your walls in monsters, all in coffin shaped frames. All of your favorites are available like the Wolfman, Frankenstein, Vampires and more. I already have a picture of Frankenstein and his bride. It’s called a wedding photo. It’s super cute. She’s all hissing at me and I just look like Herman Munster, only scared as hell. It was a fun day. The day before I mean. The last day of freedom is always the sweetest. I remember it well. I did the mash. The monster mash! It really was a graveyard smash. Now the wife spends all my cash.

How do I always get sidetracked? ADD? I don’t think so, but how would I know? I would forget, wouldn’t I? Anyway, I better get back to whatever it was I was doing before. Oh yeah. No, that wasn’t it.
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Corset Of Exploding Doll Hands

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etsy doll parts corset
You gotta admire any woman who can pull off a corset of baby hands, all reaching out like the souls of a hundred little money-grubbers, eager to enter this world and make adults broke. You gotta hand it to the Corset Of Exploding Doll Hands, it’s an outfit that would actually keep me away from boobies. And I trigger booby traps regularly just to get a look-see.

It never pans out, but it has booby in the name. They have to contain boobies sooner or later. Then I can win the booby prize, which is probably a pretty buxom and bouncy trophy.
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Tentacle Toilet Paper Roll Holder

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tentacle toilet paper holder
I’ve been grunting and groaning for like an hour here. Even completed like 3 crossword puzzles. Time to wipe. Wanna lend me a tentacle here Cthulhu? Ah, thanks bud. You take good care of me. You’ve seen things in this room that would shock lesser beings, but you always come through.

This Tentacle Toilet Paper Roll Holder is ready to serve up butt-paper whenever you need it. I like to shake his tentacle after, just out of respect. Give it a little fist bump, followed by an explosion. I like it. He complains that I didn’t wash my hands first. He’s got a point.

Dress Of Exploding Horses

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etsy paper horses dress
This Dress Of Exploding Horses knocked that woman right on her butt! She had a nice fancy dress on and was just minding her own business, when BAM. The four horses of the apocalypse exploded out of her boobs. Shizz just got real! I think there are four. It’s just a mess of horses all jockeying for position. And now she’s on her butt. That’ll teach ya to be a little girl and dream of ponies. Be careful or your dreams just may come true in unexpected ways girls.

*Changes out of the My Little Pony shirt immediately* What? Best to be safe. I don’t need Rainbow Dash exploding out of my chest like an alien. Friendship ain’t that friggin’ magical!
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Victorian Dog Candles

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etsy victorian dog candles
These beeswax candles from Etsy seller Darknessvoid are Dogs in Victorian dress. Do you smell the wax that they’re burning? Lifting their leg on? It’s a dog eat dog world. You might as well have some high class dog candles to like your way.

These are for the sophisticated dog lover. Not for the likes of you and me who let our pooches run around the dog park humping anything and everything. More for those types who carry dogs in handbags and tell the butler to clean up fifi’s poo with the gold plated family pooper scooper.
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