Tag: etsy

UFO Alien Bolero Jacket

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alien ufo jacket
I’m gonna get me this UFO and Alien Head jacket so that the next time E.T. lands, I get to be ambassador for the entire human race. They won’t even question it. The jacket says that I am that guy! Once we have some negotiations and I get set up with my own small island, I will be the one to decide who gets probed and who doesn’t!

Everybody who picked on me in high school better look the f**k out! Those guys that made fun of me at the comic shop last week too. 1)That issue of My Little Pony IS canon and 2)It’s not just for girls and 3)You have missing time and are butt-sore.
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Zombie Gun Holsters For Conceal And Carry Carnage

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zombie gun holster
Zombies. You gotta shoot the head. Anything else is just a waste of time. If you plan on living in the Zombie apocalypse, you have to have a gun. That means you have to have a cool holster too, so you can twirl your gun around and make pew pew pew noises, then re-holster it and look cool. *BANG* Hops around on one foot checking out the smoking hole in my other foot. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! zombies are in the trees! Run!

I may be on crutches for the next week or 3, but at least I have some wild Zombie holsters from Etsy seller RinehartLeather. They have all kinds of cool hand tooled leather holsters and stuff.
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Star Wars Dead Greedo Action Figures

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Greedo
Etsy seller DeadGreedy has an obsession with Greedo from Star Wars. He makes all kinds of art with “dead Greedo” as the subject matter. And for the record, Han shot first, but only because Greedo’s fingers are all long and freaky.

The crucified Greedo is my favorite. He dies for George Lucas’ prequel sins.
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These Boots Are Made For Walking…Two Creepy Doll Heads

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Creepy Doll Spats
Spats? What the hell is a spat? Turns out they are those boot covers that WWI era people wore. Not the past tense of stuff that was previously spit on. Anywho, these spats have creepy baby doll heads on them. You can take them for a walk and they will probably start talking to each other, before working their way up to making kill requests of you.

That one. Kill that one!

No. That one over there with the Lucky Charms!

Will you two shut the hell up! I’m trying to shop here! I have to get milk and eggs. Why the hell am I wearing spats???
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Spam Night Light: Wham Bam Thank You Spam

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spam night light
Night lights keep monsters away. This SPAM night light keeps other more nutritious foods away while it beckons you with it’s ominous evil glow.

Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
The more your eat,
The more you mess your seat.

Bake it, fry it.
You’ll never want to diet.

Open the can and down that juice,
Then sit on the can and let it loose.