Tag: garden

Morbid Decor: Human Skull Planter

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Morbid Decor Human Skull Planter
This Human Skull Planter lets you grow your plants in a replica human cranium. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “pushing up daisies”. I think I would put some googly eyes on it though. And wrap a scarf around it’s base. Then again I’m pretty crazy. I do have a green thumb though. But that’s just from getting my hand caught in that vending machine. Stupid Snickers bar. Here’s a joke for ya:

How did this skull get framed? The evidence was planted! Obviously. Excuse me while I laugh at my own lame joke. Humor brought to you by the third grade. I never really left. Well, eventually I was forced to move on, but that’s all in the past. Or not.

Concrete Feet Planter

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foot planter
The joy of victory. The agony of de feet! This Concrete Feet Planter is supposed to be a humorous and fun planter for your garden. Maybe it is. It beats the way I do it. By throwing old sneakers into the backyard and then watching flowers grow in them. And die from the smell in the same day. When I say flowers, I mean fungus. Fungi? Why yes I am. I’m a fun guy. A fun guy with a backyard full of old mushroom filled sneakers.

This made me think of this! I know right? *Shudders*

Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes

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Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes
These Roses don’t have thorns, but they do have teeth and eyes. So they can see you and can bite you. This is why I don’t garden people. Well, that and did you know that gardens are full of bugs? Yuck. These murderous roses make a great gift for anyone who wants a gruesome garden.

Rotten Rose was a truck-stop floozy,
She’d treat ya right if ya could get her boozy.

I’ll just stop there.
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Housewares With The Souls Of Babies Trapped Inside

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Housewares With The Souls Of Babies Trapped Inside
How’s your tea? Oh you know, screaming and tormented. How’s your soup? Screaming in agony apparently. Just the way I like it. SusanKniffinDavidson makes all kinds of kitchen and home items that look like the souls of babies are trapped inside. Like many a marriage and a dentist chair, they are screaming to get out.

The cups turn hot chocolate into “hot as hell and tormented chocolate”. The bowls make every bowl of soup a “Cup o Hades”.
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The Great Garden Gnome Massacre

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T Rex Garden Gnome Massacre
Make your garden a living hell for all gnome-kind. The Great Garden Gnome Massacre begins with Gnomezilla in your yard. No elf or gnome is safe. Gnomezilla is hungry for blood, so let him feast on your tacky garden ornaments. Satiate his hunger and he will look out for your garden.

*Neighbor comes outside. Hands on hips. Rolling her head with every word.* Oh Gnome you dit’int. You did not just call my garden ornaments tacky. Oh it’s on now!

I just put Gnomezilla in her garden. Wait until she sees all of the carnage. Yes. It is on. *Steeples fingers and laughs maniacally.*
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