Etsy seller Fauncy wants to create a special board game just for you. Something weird and similar to this one seen here. I would totally rule at this board game. First, I would choose to use the Monopoly Thimble, cuz you know, that’s manly as s*it. Then I roll and move 4 spaces and totally roll a critical hit against that stone golem spider.
Even if I broke my wizard’s staff, it would be worth it, because I would search it’s dead body and take it’s fangs so I could make some sweet spider-daggers. That’s handy for later, when I turn against the other players and slash them. You been poisoned son! Spider teeth just made you drop like 200 gold. Deal wid it!
Then I would land on the spot that lets me drink that awesome potion. Wizard juice is on da loose! Tastes like gatorade, but don’t care. My health is at maximum even if my sobriety took a -8. That sweet nectar of arcane wizardry is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips. Literally. I’m now a pear shaped old woman under my wizard robes. Damn you vile Trickster Elixir of Old Maidenhood! Don’t matter. I’m about to fight a dinosaur son!
Rolling for my attack of melt-flesh. Damn that drink made me f***ed up! The dice falls out of my hand just as my staff fizzles and makes a fart noise! Damn you potion. Stupid T-Rex grabs me in it’s teeth and breaks me in half. Luckily, my top half crawls away as it is devouring my lower half.
I slash at my fellow players with my spider-dagger as they pass me and watch them die one by one. Ha! The game is mine. Blood loss. Sight failing. Mumble. *No one wins…*
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Garbage Pail Kids are gross. Grosser than that fat neighbor kid I call Lindsey LoHam. Or that creepy neighbor kid who carries the scythe. What’s his name? Oh yeah. Undead Ed. Anyway, this is a pretty disturbing and awesome rare Garbage Pail kids toy. Bony Tony. Dude has the ultimate Garbage Pail power. His skin is like a hoodie. 
Troll skulls. It’s the wacky dice game where you try to roll a pair of sixes, which is nearly impossible with these dice. Trolls can’t count that high anyway. Shake ’em up and let the dice fly. Troll your friends. Troll your family. It takes skulls, not skill.
Everyone knows that red hatted Gnomes are up to no good. They might scare critters away from your garden, but you know they get up to 
WTF in the name of Starfleet and all that is holy, is going on here? I did a spit-take when I first saw these