Tag: halloween

Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs
MakingFacesPottery not only makes weird faces while making pottery, they also occasionally make fugly face mugs, like I did in grade school. Their’s are much better. These Zombie and Ugly Face Mugs have faces that only a mother can love. A mother hopped up on acid, who sticks her head in the oven after getting a good look at the kid! The shop has freaky creatures, zombies, fugly things that defy naming and other monstrosity mugs that will scare the black off your coffee and make the sugar jump from your tea.

*Random audience reaction.* That’s not politically correct! You should be nicer!

*Looks at dude’s avatar.* You should be on a mug. Burn! That’s why ya don’t mess with me. You ugly. You ugly. Yo mama says you ugly!

I don’t have an avatar!

Hmmm. Um. The burn is on me then. That was actually my reflection. U-G-L-Y, I’m the one with no alibi. You have won this round sir! But ugly never gives up, so I will be back and uglier than ever. Right now I have to see someone about marketing a mug in my image. Actually I think that second image really captures my twisted and freakish essence. Almost.
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Brain In A Jar Soap

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Brain In A Jar Soap
Hmmmm. Now where did I put that brain? I might know if I hadn’t misplaced it. But I did so… Me dumb now. Oh there’s my Brain In A Jar Soap. There’s nothing like lathering up with gray matter. What these soaps lack in firing synapses, they make up for in firing suds-napses. I like cleaning with brains, makes me feel smart. Like I am absorbing the knowledge from the brain and adding it to my own database. And believe me, I need all the brainpower I can get.

I’m like a showering zombie. *Approaches the shower muttering, “Brains… Brains* OW! Bumped into the tub and fell in. See, this is why I need brains.
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Mummy Leggings

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Mummy Leggings
Should you buy these Mummy Leggings? I bet you’re torn. They shred the competition’s mummy leggings to pieces. Just because they are distressed, that doesn’t mean you have to be. It’s an easy choice. You either want to look like an ancient and sexy mummy or you don’t.

Worried about an ancient curse? I’m pretty sure they’re cursed, but in a good way. By you! Cursed like, you’re gonna put ’em on and be all like, “Holy f**k I look f***n’ fine!” Your daddy’s gonna be all like, “C’mere mummy. Give daddy some sugar.”

Mirror Framed By Fingers

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Mirror Framed By Fingers
Um, Okay… This is a Mirror Framed By Fingers. For reals. It has fingers all around it. Looking in this mirror is gonna be a white-knuckle ride baby. Are they all middle fingers? I have no idea, but I’m flipping this thing off like a hundred times, just so we’re even.

Fingers, fingers, on the wall, who’s got the fairest fingers of them all? I do. Mine are the fairest. You just have the most. I would count how many you have, but I don’t have enough fingers to count that high. I might just get this, cuz the mirror I currently have is all thumbs… Not fingers.

Vintage Bat Sunglasses

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Vintage Bat Sunglasses
Go batty with these cool Vintage Bat Sunglasses. If you don’t mind people knowing that you’re a vampire, these are perfect. I should check with my bat-tometrist and see if these will work with my own limited bat-like vision. *Tosses my old glasses aside.* Goodbye coke-bottle lenses! You think that’s bad, my eye doctor wanted me to upgrade to Pepsi. We compromised at Mountain dew. *Tries on bat sunglasses.* Yeah, that didn’t help.

Oh, right… Sunglasses. If I could read the writing, I would have known that. That’s me, blind as a bat. At least now I can have a bat on my face.