If you want to look like a mad scientist cut you up and stitched you back together, check out these Frankenstein Monster Stitches Tights. They are scary sexy. They’ll leave you in stitches. For real.
These are perfect for cosplay or just for everyday wear when you want to look like a leggy monster. Who doesn’t want to look like a leggy monster?
This jewelry has bite. How annoying would I be with these Gold And Silver Vampire Rings? Putting my hands against people’s necks and telling them, “I want to suck your blood!” before getting punched in the Nosferatu. It would be pretty cool to wear these vampire choppers.
I’ll give one to my special vampire girl and she’ll say, “Fangs a lot! You really stoke the fires of my heart.”
Is your heart named Bram? Cuz I’m a real Bram Stoker and you have all the right vampire lestats!
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Goosh. It means “The undesired oozing of any substance, such as jelly in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Example: This peanut butter and jelly sandwich just gooshed all over me! Well, these Goosh Pants aren’t oozing PB and J. Looks more like truffle butter to me, but I’m no expert.
These pants are gooshing in the front and gooshing in the back. Duck duck goosh baby! Dude looks like a walking Rorschach test. That’s me by the time laundry day comes around again. I really need to have more than two pair of pants.
I’m pretty sure this cool Dragon Fetus In A Jar is a prop from the un-filmed Dreamworks production called “How to Abort Your Dragon.” I think I read that they had budget problems. But this is the next best thing to seeing the movie.
Meet Cleetus, the awesome dragon fetus. He looks all cute and sleepy with his wings curled up close. But he’s not. He’s dead. Or she. I have no idea how to tell male and female dragons apart until one starts bitchin’ about how the other never does chores and stuff.
These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.
All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
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